"It's bizarre and embarrassing." 24 women share the wedding tradition they think should go directly in the bin.

After two-and-a-half years of wedding planning, I can confidently say that I have become a wedding grinch.

Don't get me wrong, I'm beyond excited to get married and celebrate with our family and friends on the day. Especially after facing a few hiccups due to the whole COVID-19 situation.

But after over two years of planning and prepping, I've come to a realisation:

Wedding traditions are complete and utter bulls**t.

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When the wedding planning process began for us, it soon became clear that weddings are often about a) impressing your guests, and b) following decades-long, outdated traditions.

You see, people have a lot of expectations around weddings. They expect a big white dress, fancy cars, and a million pre-wedding events. They want to know about your 'something old, something new', and they expect a certain sequence of events.

And when you throw out those trends, some people... don't like it.

For our wedding, we've decided to buck a bunch of wedding traditions, including the kitchen tea, the bouquet and garter toss, and the elaborate wedding reception entrance. And it seems we're not the only ones.


We asked 24 women to share the wedding tradition they believe needs to go. 

From the first dance to being 'given away', here's what they had to say:

The bouquet toss.

"I didn't do a bouquet toss because most of my friends were partnered up and it's an embarrassing tradition. Plus, I wanted to keep my flowers, they cost a lot! I gave them to my mum." - Lisa.

The garter toss.

"We ditched the garter because honestly I think it's bizarre and embarrassing." - Emily.

"My daughter refused to do the garter toss. Her response was that she didn't want her husband going under her dress in front of her grandparents and then tossing it to their friends." - Shannon.

The first dance.

"I had zero interest in dancing in front of everyone so we cut the first dance from the run sheet." - Kiri.

The obligatory invites.

"[The expectation] that you must invite all family on both sides. Invite who is in your life. Invite who truly knows you and wants the best for you." - Michelle.

"If I had my time again, we would have only invited people we wanted there, not the people we felt obligated to invite." - Rebecca.

Feature Image: Getty.


Being 'given away'.

"I reuse to have any man walk me down the aisle or 'give me away'. I am my own person. No one owned me before or after marriage." - Siobhan.

"The father giving away the bride tradition is so antiquated and makes me shudder. No thanks, I can do that myself." - Laura.

"[The traditions around] who walks you down the aisle. You should be able to walk yourself, have your mum walk you, or walk down with whoever you damn well please without having to explain yourself." - Nikki.

Pre-wedding events.

"An engagement party, kitchen tea AND a hen's night? It's too much!" - Emmeline. 


"I didn't have a bridal shower or kitchen tea. To be honest, bridal showers can be boring, and I didn't want our guests to feel obligated to buy another gift or anything." - Sara.

The gift registry. 

"From a guest perspective, basically anything that involves spending too much money: a dress code that you probably need to buy something for, registries where the cheapest thing is like $200, or destination weddings where you have to pay for accommodation as well." - Emmeline.

"I can't stand a gift registry. If you want those fancy expensive items, go buy them yourself. Don’t expect others to gift them... especially when most often we are travelling for the wedding. Happy to gift but let the guest choose." - Dominique.

The surname change.

"Name changing! I hope for a process where the bride and groom come up with a unique name to capture their 'new' family." - Elizabeth.

"I'm not sure if you can call this a wedding tradition, but I've always felt that taking your husband's name is a tradition that I don't really get in the modern world." - Astrid.

Arriving at the wedding separately.

"The bride having to hide from the groom on the day. He's not getting a Kinder Surprise. Plus, I wanted to mingle with my guests before the ceremony." - Claire.

"My husband and I stayed together the night before our wedding. I knew I'd sleep better and feel better seeing him the morning of." - Sam.

The bridal party.

"[We didn't have] bridesmaids and groomsmen. I wanted the day just to be about us and not worry about picking a dress to satisfy everyone. I still had friends helps me get ready in the morning and do little things throughout the process but it was so nice just to focus on us leading up to the wedding." - Natalie.


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The wedding cake.

"A wedding cake. We had finger food desserts because experience showed me that everyone wanted to be up and chatting/mingling/dancing by that stage of the night." - Lisa.

"Cutting the cake. It's pointless and expensive." - Kate.

Wedding cars.

"I wish I had stuck to my guns and said no to having 'fancy' cars. Our limo driver made us half an hour late. My poor mum thought we’d been in an accident. The only reason we had the limo is because my father-in-law wanted a nice car there."- Sarah.

The seating plans.

"When people have guests or family sitting on sides depending on who they are related to or friends with. Not everyone has big families, and it's a lot of pressure!" - Kee.

Plus ones.

"I wouldn't want to have plus ones at my wedding. I don't want to meet someone for the first time on the day. I always thought that was odd." - Bridgette.

What are the wedding traditions that you think we should get rid of? Let us know in the comments section.

Feature Image: Getty.