It turns out sex isn’t like water – the more the better.
Researchers have just announced that when it comes to sex and happiness, once a week is ideal.
Hands up who has been having too much sex (hands fly up) because you were under the misguided belief that when in a committed relationship (or not) it was best to aim for three or more each week?
My husband and I have sex four to five times a week, sometimes more. Not good sex, just sex. I was pretty proud of that fact, and he wasn’t too upset over it either, however if I’m to understand this research correctly – and latch onto it as an excuse to advocate for us to start having less sex – then that means we aren’t happy either.
Too much sex is apparently just as unhelpful in a relationship as too little sex.
I tend to believe researchers. I'm one of those people who gives no thought to research issues such as sample size, location, extenuating circumstances and ridiculousness of study topics, and I just accept the conclusion presented to me. That's why I'm telling my husband today that from now on we are having less sex because, well, science.
This particular study was done by (tired women) researchers at the University of Toronto Mississauga and published in the journal of Psychological and Personality Science. They looked at data collected since 1972 from more than 25,000 people aged between 18 and 89, analysing relationship status, sexual frequency and happiness, drawing from data collected from the U.S. General Social Survey (GSS) and identified that for people in relationships, sexual frequency is important, but only up to a point.
It's a bit like a delicate balancing act. If a couple is having too little sex, one is happy and one not so much however if a couple ends up having too much sex then the previously happy one isn't so much and the other is annoyingly ecstatic.
More isn't always better when it comes to sex, particularly if the happiness of both parties is considered. As the Daily Beast highlights, "there was a significant linear relationship between sexual frequency and well-being for people having sex once a week or less and no association for people having sex more than once a week."
I seriously feel as though a light bulb has just gone off above my head.
I have been a long-time advocate of having sex as often as possible, quality be damned. My husband and I have been through some rough patches whereby I never wanted to have sex and he always wanted to have sex so we would fight about sex instead of having sex and then sex became this huge issue in our relationship. So in order to end it as a major stress-point in our relationship I decided to come to the party, so to speak, and it's been smooth sailing ever since.