real life

"My boyfriend made me pay his way for our whole holiday. Now I want to dump him".

It’s one thing to go dutch on a date, it’s another to pay your mooching boyfriend’s way through an entire luxury holiday.

That’s the scenario facing Reddit user cascent, who shared her tale of a woeful vacation spent forking out for a man she’d been dating five months. Brad, 31, expected his new girlfriend, 29, to hand over her wallet for every single meal. By the end of the trip, she was ready to ditch his ass. There’s one catch – he paid for the accommodation. So who’s in the wrong? Is anyone right?

She writes: “So about a month ago, Brad (not his real name) told me he wanted to take me away for a romantic weekend (our first). He ended up choosing an expensive apartment at the beach so I offered to pay for half of the accommodation costs, but Brad refused to let me help pay and just said I should ‘use my money as spending money so I could enjoy the weekend’.”

“From what we had talked about, I was under the assumption we would get groceries for the entire weekend and go 50/50 (this is what we usually do). I’m on a really tight budget at the moment, and only had $150 to spare. I was guessing groceries would be about $75 each for the weekend and then I could use the rest for spending money.”

"Wait, it's MY treat?"

"When we arrived at the beach for our first night there, I mentioned we should go and get our groceries from the store for the weekend and make dinner together at the apartment (thinking it would be romantic), but he was a bit tired from the drive and wanted to grab some food straight away. As I knew the area better, I pointed out the main fish & chip restaurant near the beach (the only one I knew of that had great, reasonably-priced food) and he said: “How about we sit down and eat?” I was thinking ‘Oh great, he wants to take me out for dinner! That’s just a bit romantic.’ I really had no clue what was about to happen."


"The restaurant was one of those pay-before-you-eat places, so we go up to the counter to make our order (Brad chose a really expensive meal) and when the time comes to pay, Brad hung back and didn’t make any move to reach for his wallet. I quickly realised he was expecting ME to pay, all the while the server was flicking anxious glances between the both of us. I remember this cold wash of panic rushed down my spine as I handed my money over. The food and drinks came to about $70, which was half of my money for the weekend".

"Later, as we were eating, he got all smiley and jovial and said how, “Nice it was he wouldn’t have to pay for food and drinks the entire weekend because he’d paid for the accommodation”. To say I was shocked was an under-f**king-statement. We had never discussed this. Even though I died a little inside as we were eating, I just smiled and nodded and realised I was F***ED."

Rather than raise the issue, cascent bit her tongue, stewing in quiet resentment. The next day it just got worse.

"The next morning I said, “How about we go to the store and get food for the rest of the weekend so we can enjoy the apartment by the beach without having to go out for food all the time?” He finally agreed, but when we got to the store, he never offered to pay and I ended up footing the ENTIRE grocery bill. He didn’t even offer to pay half."

"He accused me of leaving my wallet at home on purpose".

"And then I ended up cooking all of our meals for the rest of the weekend and he never offered to help out, not once. All he wanted to do was sit in front of the TV and watch sport (or check the score). It was a real eye opener, and I’m so glad I got a chance to see what he was really like. (It was almost as if he wanted me to woo him, not the other way around)."


The death blow was dealt on their last day together when Brad had to - gasp - pay for his own coffee.

"On the last morning at the beach, as we were dropping off the keys to the real estate, he said he wanted to get some takeaway coffees before we started the drive home. When we walked into the café, he hung back and I knew he wanted me to pay again. Except... I’d forgotten my wallet and only had my phone on me."

"I turned to him and whispered: “Do you have your wallet on you?” he said “Ohhhh you’re tricking me so you don’t have to pay, very smart.” I was shocked into silence as he paid. I was close to bursting into tears at this point. As we were waiting for our coffees I said, “Look, I really didn’t mean to forget my wallet” – and he said “nah don’t believe you, you definitely tricked me.” I just remember thinking WTF!!?? Did that just happen??"

"I was ready to snap at him, but we still had the trip home to get through. During the three hour drive home I slept the whole way so I didn’t have to talk to him."

Now cascent is left with a difficult choice - should she leave Brad, or was it all a miscommunication? One thing is for sure, if they do stay together, she'd best never forget her wallet.