Last night’s episode of The Bachelorette was arguably the best of the season. There was an obscenely sexual kiss with Fireman Cam, a ridiculously nonsensical game where Rhys got fake-injured, and a date with Matty J that showcased his A grade banter.
But perhaps my favourite moment of the show came at the very end, when the guys came together to sing for Georgia. Cam sat her down, joked about stealing Todd’s guitar (HAHA but srsly Todd was probs super reluctant to lend it to anyone), and started to sing. Each bachelor had his own line that referenced an experience they’d shared with Georgia, and it was genuinely, dare I say, sweet.
I liked it... a lot.
Our morning in the Mamamia office was fraught with fierce debate over whether the song was lovely or cringey - although ultimately I've concluded that the people who didn't like it are just cynical AF.
But as we were weighing up the merits/shortcomings of the song, a colleague dropped a bombshell:
This isn't the first time the boys on The Bachelorette have composted a song for the woman they're all dating. You guys, the US Bachelorette did it first.
WHY DOES AMERICA ALWAYS OUTDO US.
On the last season of The Bachelorette, songwriter James led the group in writing a song for JoJo.
Unlike last night's episode, we got to see the guys in the process of composing it - high five-ing each other like real dude-bro's.
The lyrics were primarily comprised of repeating the name "JoJo...JoJo, JoJo, JoJo, JoJo...J-J-J-JoJo," which we can't really blame them for. Her name is super catchy.
But it turns out that James, whose last name is friggin TAYLOR, actually has a beautiful voice. In an Instagram post shared after he was sent home, he sings another song he wrote for JoJo. And it's... amazing.
WHAT THE HELL.
In my humble opinion, however, the Aussie guys did it better. It was funnier, and more quirky, and more unexpected. You can read the lyrics below:
CAM: Georgia, oh Georgia, eyes are sparkling blue,
I've had some free time lately,
And I've been thinking of you.
COURTNEY: When it comes to first dates,
They call me the master,
And if you play your cards right,
You'll get more jewellery of pasta.
ALL: Georgia, oh Georgia, eyes are sparkling blue,
We've had some free time lately,
And we've been thinking of you.
MATTY J: We had our first date swinging,
Up so very high,
My heart breaks into a million pieces,
Every time you say good bye.
SAM (taking a characteristic swipe at Rhys): I'm definitely not a poet,
And certainly not a geek,
But I am looking forward to,
Our single date next week.
RHYS: Eggs, cheese and cinnamon,
Onions, coconut water...
Wait this is a shopping list.
ALL: Georgia, oh Georgia, eyes are sparkling blue,
We've had some free time lately,
And we've been thinking of you.
CLANCY (doing a funny): You shaved my beard,
And I jumped in the pool,
Hopefully the next thing I do,
Will actually be cool.
TODD (...who?): Your roses, they are so red,
Without them I'd be blue,
I may not be Ed Sheerin,
I guess that will have to doooooooo.
SAM: BRRRRRT.
ALL: Georgia, oh Georgia, eyes are sparkling blue,
We've had some free time lately,
And we've been thinking of you.