Rachelle Rowlings can no longer remember what life feels like without kids.
The 31-year-old Sydney mum of son, Roman, and daughter, Rumer, is beloved by her Instagram followers for her frequent ‘warts and all’ accounts of exactly what it’s like to be a busy (and yet, freakishly stylish) parent.
Her latest post is no different. It’s so accurate, it’s striking a chord with parents across the country.
“To dear people without kids…I no longer remember being you,” Rachelle wrote to her 21,000 followers.
She then hilariously detailed all the ways her life has changed since having children, comparing her ‘mum life’ to the carefree, clean lives of those without kids.
LISTEN: Meshel Laurie explains how to be less ‘busy’ almost instantly, and all the ways in which doing so will make you a better parent. Post continues after audio.
“I begrudgingly look at you while driving my sensible people-mover, Roman spraying milk onto the roof trying to catch the falling drops with his tongue and Rumer auditioning for the next Scream instalment.
“I see you, actually sitting to eat, ordering scalding hot drinks, and eating foods you have to use utensils for.
“I hear you talking about Cardi B, thinking it was a new type of gym exercise. And how you use Snapchat for actual videos not just filters.
“I notice that you don’t make lifelong friends with people who are in healthcare queues and that you actually enjoy leaving the house.”
She also begged her childfree followers to “whisper sweet nothings” in her ear about “what it’s like showering alone” and “how it feels to watch a movie without subtitles”.
“I see that your handbag holds only three items not several teethers; scrunched up GP/Physio and Pediatrician referrals; two half chewed Ritz; and three unbuilt kinder surprise surprises,” she continued.
“If MySpace were still around, your top friends would be sleep, false eyelashes, eating with chopsticks and being awesome, while mine would be Dettol wipes, Baby Bunting, dropped food and sensible shoes.”
But Rachelle also had a warning for the childless folk of the world: your time is near.
“Know this – one day your nose will be picked by someone else, you’ll have enough underboob sweat to fill a 2lt Evian, and a decent night’s sleep would be 22 mins without waking up from nervousness,” she shared.
Rachelle’s followers – and fellow mums – flooded the post with comments sharing just how much they related to her words.
“Omg this couldn’t have come on a better day… today I have felt like I’m losing my mind!” one mum wrote.
Another simply shared: “Yessss this is my life.”
Kids: can’t live with them, can’t live without them, right?
Listen to the latest episode of This Glorious Mess, the podcast for imperfect parents: