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'I Love You, Now Die'. The 5 things we learnt from the new Michelle Carter documentary.



This post deals with the subject of suicide and may be triggering for some readers.

Michelle Carter was just 17 years old when she coerced her boyfriend to end his life.

“I think your parents know you’re in a really bad place. I’m not saying they want you to do it but I honestly feel like they can accept it,” she texted her 18-year-old boyfriend, Conrad Roy.

On July 13, 2014, Roy’s body was discovered in his truck in a Kmart carpark in Massachusetts. Police deduced he had committed suicide.

However as they began to read the messages on his phone from his girlfriend Michelle Carter, they realised this was no standard suicide case.

The story of Michelle Carter and Conrad Roy is the subject of HBO’s new documentary, I Love You, Now Die: The Commonwealth vs. Michelle Carter, directed and produced by Erin Lee Carr.

Watch the trailer for HBO’s documentary ‘I Love You, Now Die’ below. Post continues after video. 

The story of the two teenagers captured international headlines during Michelle Carter’s trial, captivating the public as the harrowing text messages were unearthed.


The HBO two-part documentary dives deeper into the case, and features unprecedented access to the families, friends and communities of those directly involved in the court case.

Here are five revelations we learned from part one of the I Love You, Now Die documentary.

Michelle Carter and Conrad Roy had met five times.

Conrad Roy and Michelle Carter. Source: CBS.

Carter and Roy fell in love after meeting in 2012 during a family vacation in Florida.

The had met no more than five times, but maintained a relationship.


Though they referred to each other as “boyfriend” and “girlfriend”, their relationship was largely online. They only lived 56 kilometres apart.

Over two years, they exchanged thousands and thousand of text messages. Both struggled with mental health issues. Roy had been diagnosed with depression and social anxiety, and was undergoing cognitive behavioural therapy. Carter had a severe eating disorder and was seeing a counsellor to address self harm.

Carter's only on-record interview with police.

A few days after Roy's death, police interviewed Carter at her school regarding her relationship with the 18-year-old, and whether she was aware of his plans to end his life.

It is Carter's only on-record interview.

Detective: Did you have contact with him on the day he passed?

Carter: I think so.

Detective: Did he tell you he was going to do that or anything like that?

Carter: Um, he was talking about it for a while. And he told me that, um, no one would be able to help him. I was talking to him on the phone, like the night before, the 12th. We were talking and then the phone hung up. I didn’t really think anything of it. I didn’t really know what to do. I was just scared for him because I had a feeling this would come up at some point.

Detective: What would?

Carter: What happened…

Detective: Ok. Is that your phone?


Carter: Yeah that's my phone. It's kind of broken...

Detective: We have a search warrant for your phone. Okay, so we'll be taking it.

Carter: Wait, so you’re taking my phone?

Detective: Yes.

Carter: Do I get it back?

Detective: At some point you will.

Carter: Okay.

The detectives then downloaded the thousands of messages, pictures, voicemails, call logs and Facebook chats from Michelle's phone.

They recall each going home and reading about a thousand messages each. The next morning they said to one another: "If it wasn't for her, he'd be alive today."

It was then they realised this case was potentially criminal.

Conrad Roy's video.

Michelle Carter documentary
Conrad Roy. Image: HBO.

Conrad Roy recorded a video diary before his death detailing his struggle with mental health, including social anxiety and depression.

I Love You, Now Die showed a part of the video in which Roy speaks to the camera directly, expressing a desire to get better. It was recorded just one month before his death.

"Hi, this is Conrad Roy," he begins. "I'm going to talk to you about social anxiety."

"For me social anxiety feels like it's overwhelming my life. Now I want to take steps to control it.

"A lot of people tell me I have a lot going for me. I have to be happy. I have to be happy.

"Well no, you don’t have to be happy.

"There’s people that love me. I have a great mum. A great dad for the most part. But I’m still depressed.

"I feel like I’m differently wired from everyone else, like there’s something wrong with me.

"If I keep talking, keep talking, it’s gonna get better."

Carter's quest for attention.

i love you now die australia
Michelle Carter. Image: HBO.

In an effort to explain why Michelle Carter would do this, the court heard during her trial that she was a "very needy person who craved attention" and that "she didn't have very many close friends".

She texted a number of girls from school "incessantly" with a desire to "get close to them". However they didn't show her the attention she wanted, and the court heard that in June 2014, Carter "needed something to get their attention".

Just two days before Roy's death, Carter conducted a "pre-test" in which she pretended that Roy had gone missing.

"She knew her plan to get attention would work because she pre-tested it," the court heard.


Carter texted a number of girls telling them Roy was missing, while simultaneously being in contact with Roy.

The girls expressed their concern and offered her comfort, making Carter realise she would receive sympathy and attention if he died.

The moment Lynn Roy had suspicions of Carter.

Michelle Carter documentary
Conrad's mother Lynn Roy. Image: HBO.

Lynn Roy, Conrad's mother, features heavily in the documentary as she recalls the moments leading up to, and after, her son's death.


She reveals she was not aware of the extent of Carter and Roy's relationship, but admitted that after her son passed away she thanked Carter for her support.

"I told her ‘I’m so glad my son had someone like you in his life’. I thought she was very sweet and compassionate and loving.

"Why would you ever think someone would think the way she does?"

However it was a text message Carter sent to Roy that first raised her suspicions.

"She messaged me and said, 'You tried your hardest, I tried my hardest', and I thought, excuse my language, but what the f*ck is she talking about?

"I tried to save him? I had no idea he was feeling that way.

"It’s weird because just before he passed I said to him, 'I know how girls can be. Girls can be very manipulative'.

"I never realised my son would be taken advantage in the worst way possible."

In June 2017, Carter was convicted for involuntary manslaughter. She was sentenced to two and a half years in prison.

'I Love You, Now Die: The Commonwealth vs. Michelle Carter' Part One is now available on FOX Showcase. Part two will air on July 20.

If you think you may be experiencing depression or another mental health problem, please contact your general practitioner or in Australia, contact Lifeline 13 11 14 for support or beyondblue 1300 22 4636.

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