“I just saw Mia Freedman’s boobs at work and I need to talk about it.”

Hi!

How was your day?

Mine was pretty good, thanks. I had a really nice coffee to begin with, there weren’t too many emails to get through, and I’m making some good progress on a couple of important projects.

Oh…..and one more thing.   I saw my boss’ boobs.

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Just look at her face. Her shiny, happy face. That is the face of a woman who is free.

Mia Freedman today, right in the middle of our Very Serious And Important News Of The Week podcast, calmly pulled her sundress and bra down to her waist, pushed her boobs into my line of sight and said plainly “I am freeing my nipples”.

My reaction? Not so chill.

I’m not offended. It’s not everyday you see a woman casually nude up and get on with the job at hand. Massive props for that. And despite the unusual and explicit nature of the workplace encounter, it really did make Jamila Rizvi and I scream with laughter.

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My face.

But here’s the thing; in the hours since, I can’t stop thinking about it. As a massive prude who hates my body, who has dedicated almost two decades to hiding it, who perfected the elaborate karate move of Whipping One’s Bra Off Without Removing Ones Shirt, who mentally negotiated with God to make my boobs bigger, who STILL wears one pieces bathers at the beach and NEVER, ever, goes bra shopping, it made me wonder: will I ever get to the point where I too can sit without a top on and be ok with it?

When does that point come?

Is it after you’ve had three kids and you have a new appreciation for your body? Is it after you’ve been living in an ashram for 3 years and you no longer are surrounded by impossible ideals of beauty? Is it after a thousand people like Rosie Waterland say ‘actually, here’s what a real body looks like.’? [You can read about why Rosie bared-all here.]

I’m guessing I will never reach that point. Mine will stay tucked away until the end of time. (I’m going to leave a note for my funeral director to not even peek). But for everyone else? Do it. For the women like me who would never fucking dare, do it.

I’m kinda jealous. It looks fun as HELL. And it’s a good way to break up the working day*

*disclaimer: would not recommend.

May the room be warm and your nipples go free.

Listen to the full episode here.

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