Men rarely feel too anything to
have sex. A survey this week revealed one in four women won’t have sex
if they feel bad about their body but only one in twenty men would turn
down sex for the same reason.
“My wife is sexy and beautiful and a size 12,” one man said in the
survey. “But she’s constantly complaining that she feels too fat to
sleep with me and there’s nothing I can say to convince her otherwise.”
A woman in the same survey had the reverse problem: “My husband weighs
168kg. The only sex position he can do is lying on his back. I’ve tried
to tell him that it’s hard on his health –not just our sex life. He
tells me he’s happy and if I’m not, I should find a new man.”
Bad body confidence doesn’t usually impede the male sex drive, does it? Because as hard as I try, I can’t imagine a conversation like this:
Woman: (snaking her hand along Man’s hip as he reads a car magazine in bed): Babe?
Man: [edging ever so slightly towards the edge of the bed and sighing deeply] Oh, honey, not tonight…I’ve had so many client lunches this week and I’m just feeling really, you know, beer gutty. Can we just spoon?”
Yes OK, I know men wanting sex all the time is a generalisation. I’m sure there are many men who have headaches or back pain or just couldn’t be bothered.
But for every guy who’d pass up a leg over in order to roll over and sleep, there are ten who’ll give it a shot. As one male friend puts it “Now that I’m 38 with two kids, saying no to sex would have to mean I was near death and suffering from a broken penis.”
But gentlemen, why wait for an invitation? Why not just initiate sex more often? Go on! You know your wives and girlfriends want it all the time! All the time! There’s no such thing as an inopportune moment to try and get jiggy with us! Hell no!
Like when we’re sick. Women love having sex when we’re sick! Flu, migraine, gastro, Ebola….any illness is a turn-on! My friend Angela’s boyfriend understands this. That’s why he initiated sex with her the first night she came back from hospital. She’d been admitted three days earlier with an agonising bladder infection, caused by – say it with me – having too much sex. So of course more sex was what she’d want when she got home. He was wise to guess that. Although he needn’t have waited so long. She would’ve been fully up for a quickie in the shared bathroom in her public hospital ward.