Fiona is 42, has been married to her husband Greg for 19 years and has two teenage daughters. She works in a senior management role for an insurance company.
She’s never cheated on her husband, she tells me.
But she does watch porn with, and have sex with women.
“There are certain things I like to keep private when it comes to my sex life. I personally do not believe having sex with another woman is really cheating, and I know a lot of women who think that way.”
For as long as Fiona can remember, she’s been interested in sex with other women. When she was 17 years old, she had her first sexual experience with a woman, who was a friend of her mother’s.
When she met Greg, her sexual desire towards woman didn’t disappear – although for a number of years she didn’t act on it. They moved states, and she lost contact with most people she knew.
After they married, she says, “I kind of lost interest a bit as I was so busy juggling a demanding career and raising two children.” But after six years, “the cravings began once again, and I made a really bold move when we were on a family vacation.”
Fiona met a ‘stunning’ younger woman, and had her first sexual experience with another woman in years. “It made me feel really confident,” she told Mamamia, “and want to enjoy that side of my sexuality more.”
Since then, Fiona has had a number of sexual experiences with women. She isn’t on a dating app, and doesn’t go to gay bars. Rather, she has sex with her straight friends.
A study released last year, found that straight women are 132 per cent more likely to watch lesbian porn than men.
EJ Dickson from The Daily Dot says, “In straight porn, there’s usually cunnilingus but it’s only for, like, two seconds, and then they move onto something else. But in lesbian porn it’s pretty much the main event. And considering that [receiving oral sex] is basically the only way I come, it’s no contest for me what I’d rather watch.”
POST CONTINUES BELOW: Mia Freedman interviews Madison Missina.
In heterosexual porn, women are the object. They are a receptacle, seen exclusively through the male gaze. But in lesbian porn, women are the subject. Female pleasure is at the forefront, with clitoral stimulation serving as the main event.
The assumption is that straight women are watching lesbian porn either alone, or with their male partners. But Fiona says that simply isn’t true.
“I always watch lesbian porn with another girlfriend,” she told Mamamia.
“I am yet to hear any straight girlfriend of mine declining an invitation to watch a lesbian flick together. We do it for many reasons, but mainly to take a break from our otherwise straight life with our male partners, children, jobs… and enjoy experimenting with another woman.”
“Women love to role play, so watching a lesbian flick is making a fantasy come true,” she said.
“Just two weeks ago, I invited a girl who I got to know through work to spend the afternoon and watch a movie at home. She is about half my age, and only recently married. I didn’t mention that we will be watching lesbian porn although that was my intention and I knew she would it too. My husband and daughters weren’t home at the time. While flipping through the channels, I briefly stopped at a lesbian porn movie playing on one of the adult channels, and when I was about it change it, she stopped me.”
"She said she always wanted to watch a lesbian porn film with another woman. So we did watch it, not to mention we both had an amazing orgasm just before the hour long movie ended. We loved it!"
While watching porn, Fiona and her friend "mutually pleasured each other," Fiona first, and then her friend reciprocated.
"I think most married women are waiting for the right opportunity to experiment with another woman, and they fantasise about it a lot," she said.
Lesbian porn helps, Fiona says, because "I like to see how women please each other and learn from it. There are certain scenes I like... It's a great way to set the mood with a girlfriend if I am interested in her."
Fiona loves her husband, and doesn't identify as a lesbian. She just enjoys experimenting with women.
And Fiona insists there are lots of married women just like her. They're just too afraid to admit it.
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