Last night’s episode of Married at First Sight was perhaps the greatest episode of reality television I have ever watched and I do not say that lightly.
It had everything. Betrayal. Surprises. Surprise betrayals. JoJo fighting with John Aiken. Nasser’s reactions. And some really, horrendously bad decisions.
You see, at the commitment ceremony, it was time for Dean and Davina to finally come clean about their affair, but instead of Dean leaving Tracey to be with Davina (like he had promised less than 24 hours earlier), he had magical sex with Tracey and decided they were really meant to be together.
But after analysing the footage 14,590 times and having a good night’s sleep, we have a theory that this sh*tfight didn’t exactly play out the way we were asked to believe.
Ahem. Let’s start at the beginning.
When it’s Dean and Tracey’s turn to face the experts, who know full well about Dean bein a snake but for some reason aren’t allowed to say anything, Dean says, “There’s something I need to tell Tracey that’s related to all this. I need to come clean with something.”
He explains that he and Davina ‘caught up’ (what… what did you need to catch up about?) for a drink, and “Davina told me that she’s kinda into me and, if things didn’t work out with you and I, maybe there’s something there.”
It’s important to note here that as a 39-year-old man, Dean had precisely no agency over this situation and it was all very scary for him.
Then Davina interjects.
"Can I cut in?" she asks, with absolutely no intention of waiting for permission. "This is before I could see you for who you are now."
She tells everyone Dean had agreed to leave Tracey for her, and said there was no spark in his fake marriage.
Dean seems perplexed as to why a) this woman is so mad at him, b) it's all of a sudden 'necessary' to tell the truth, and c) she is speaking when it's meant to be his turn to be telling lies.
It's at this point that our theory begins.
I think Dean still intended on leaving Tracey for Davina. But then Davina spoke up and it annoyed him. So he changed his mind.
LISTEN: Clare and Jessie Stephens debrief on Dean's HIGHLY uncool behaviour at the commitment ceremony. Post continues after audio.
Stay with me.
Dean then tells Tracey he is so loyal to her and so desperate to make their fake marriage work, that he's bought a new wedding ring, considering his original ring didn't fit.
But what if he had really bought that ring to start fresh with Davina?
Surely it makes more sense to buy a ring for a new fake marriage than to 'recommit' to your old one?
Dean and Tracey are then given the opportunity to have a private conversation, and Tracey is encouraged to reflect on her decision in light of the fact that her partner of three weeks has already cheated on her.
When she returns, she chooses to stay with him, which is problematic for... I can't even.
But you know who never shows his written decision on camera?
BECAUSE IT SAID LEAVE SO HE COULD GO AND BE AUSTRALIA'S MOST HATED COUPLE WIF DAVINA.
We know for a fact that sleeping with Tracey doesn't necessarily mean anything to him, given that before last week's commitment ceremony, he slept with her that morning and tried to break up with her that night.
And maybe he was trying to build tension with the whole, 'omg which of these women will I choose it's so hard for me' dilemma, before Davina got (rightfully) sassy and ruined his plan.
From the beginning, he's also made it clear that he likes his women obedient and when Davina spoke up maybe he decided it wasn't very polite for her to have an opinion.
Guys... maybe last night, it was us who got blindsided.
— Isabella Rositano (@mseaizzy) February 18, 2018
Listen to the full episode of our Married at First Sight podcast.