Do you ever feel like your man doesn't really "get" you? He's good at cuddling with you on the couch, but what you'd really wish he'd do is compliment you more. Are you sure you know what he needs? Maybe you think you're showing him endless love by making his favourite dinner once week, but what he'd really prefer is you just listening to him talk about his day.
If it seems like you're speaking a different language lately, figuring out which "love language" you speak could take your relationship in a positive direction.
What is a love language?
Gary Chapman, Ph.D., relationship counsellor and author of The 5 Love Languages, developed this concept after recognising that couples don't always know how to show each other love. He says that by learning your love languages, you can communicate how you feel more effectively -- sometimes you don't even need word. When you each know what makes you feel the most loved, you can get closer to each other and deepen your sexual intimacy, according to Chapman.
How to use your language
"Discuss what kind of things would be meaningful for you based on your dialect," says Chapman. "Put this on the front burner of your mind or on a Post-It note where you'll see it on a regular basis. Always choose to speak the other person's language." If offering love in any of these ways feels uncomfortable at first, Chapman says to keep practicing. "You can learn any of the languages and any relationship can be enhanced."
The first step is to figure out what your primary love language is and have your man identify his. Here are the five languages; see which one speaks to you: