Six girls went to the premiere of Magic Mike XXL. Six women emerged.

Magic Mike XXL has landed.

“What? Oh, sorry, I was just thinking about Joe Manganiello.”

That’s the reaction we got from one of Mamamia’s staff members when she was asked a work-related question today.

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Those hips don’t lie: The cast of Magic Mike XXL.

Last night, six girls went to see Magic Mike XXL at the Sydney premiere. Six women exited the cinema.

Well, that’s what some of them are saying. Some of them feel they may never be the same again.

“I think it was my sexual awakening – at 27 years old!” Sarah told me. “Channing Tatum makes all other men seem insignificant when he is doing his thang.”

If you, like me, have never seen the original Magic Mike, Channing Tatum’s “thang” involves a lot of thrusting. Like, just so much thrusting. Thrusting on the ground, thrusting against women, thrusting while drilling a hole in a piece of wood, which for OH&S reasons, no one but Channing Tatum should ever attempt.

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Mamamia girls (l-r Sarah, Caitlin, Grace, Dimity, Alex) before the show.

The sheer immensity of Magic Mike XXL‘s Sydney premiere gives some idea of the anticipation and excitement surrounding this film.

It was what was optimistically called an “arena spectacular” but what I’d just call a really fucking big screen.

There were 5000 women there (and possibly some men), and afterwards my ears rang with the lusty screams of 4,989 women and seven gay men, and the defeated sighs of four long-suffering boyfriends.

Several colleagues were among the screamers, and they were not disappointed.

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There were some oiled-up, shirtless men outside the premiere, just in case no one knew what the movie was about.

In fact, upon the film’s conclusion, the two I was sitting next to were fanning themselves with their hands and gently panting. One confided that she may have possibly orgasmed several times during the film.

Here are some of their thoughts on Channing Tatum’s Wang Magic Mike XXL.

Watch the trailer, below.

It was unapologetically pointless.

“They finally found their rhythm here,” says Caitlin.

“The first movie was full of sad, serious scenes about drug overdoses and criminal activity. This one got back to the roots of stripping and gave the audience what it wanted.”

Sarah agrees.

“I love that they didn’t try to make it anything better than it was. They are male strippers. That’s it. They do it to be strippers,” Sarah says.

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Hey, Joe.

This is a film designed for the female gaze.

“I think it was feminist – I think that’s why I was so confused about my feelings,” said Sarah. “I felt empowered to want a sexy man and to want sex and to want to feel wanted.”

“It was, unashamedly, a movie for women,” says Caitlin.

“They gave women exactly what they wanted – a bit of pleasure… and the focus wasn’t on sex as much as it was in the first film.”

But it also caused some complicated feelings – and not just in the pants.

“Basically, I was mesmerised by it, and hated myself for that,” Grace says.

“On the one hand, the movie is undeniably smutty: the script is all ‘come over here, daddy’ and ‘give mama some sugar,’ and it’s about a bunch of guys in sleazy crowds of onlookers, wiggling their oiled-up crotches in women’s faces.”

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I have no idea what these guys are doing with shirts on.

Would real women want a man to do the things Channing and his boy-crew did in XXL?

As I clutched my knitted shawl around my shoulders at the premiere and thought it wouldn’t kill them to provide us with a hot drink, I couldn’t help but think things like:

“I really think he should at least ASK her before he licks whipped cream off her boob,” and “What if she doesn’t want his leather-clad penis thrust in her face?” and “I don’t know how I’d feel if some guy grabbed my hand and stuck it down his sweaty crotch, but ‘turned on’ is probably not it.”

I know, I know, I’m no fun and quite elderly and I totally missed the point. But that’s what I was thinking!

high five magic mike

 

Jada Pinkett Smith was fierce.

Her character was apparently intended to be a man played by Jamie Foxx, but he couldn’t do it and so Pinkett-Smith jumped in, and thank god for her.

“I did like that Jada Pinkett-Smith’s character introduced an element of ‘women deserve to be sexually satisfied’,” Grace says.

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Jada Pinkett-Smith brings it.

DANCING!

When I got home from the premiere, my boyfriend asked me, “So, am I a better dancer than Channum Tating?”

The poor, simple fool.

“Yes, my darling. Yes, you are much better than that silly old Channum Tating,” I told him as he thrusted amateurly around our lounge room. I would never give him a drill.

“I could watch Channing dance to Pony all day. Actually, I could watch shirtless Joe Manganiello open Cheetos at a service station all day (you’ll get it when you see the film.) Joe is just… wow,” says Grace.

Joe Magic Mike orgasm

It holds male strippers to an impossibly high standard. 

“I was at a hen’s party and a stripper turned up and trust me he was shit and did not look like a movie star,” says Shelley.

“The unrealistic expectations of male strippers are STRONG. No one looks like they do. No one,” Caitlin says.

She is correct, if Wild Boys Afloat is any indication.

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Seriously, strippers do not look like this. Please don’t go to a strip show thinking they will. You will be sorely disappointed.

Objectification is a bit gross, no matter which way it goes.

“I guess my conflict stems from the fact that objectification works both ways. I wouldn’t want a poster of a sexy actress up in the office so I certainly don’t want one of Joe or Channing,” says Shelley.

“I don’t like guys panting over women in public and same goes if it’s the girls in the office.”

Grace says, “I couldn’t help but thinking if the tables were turned, I’d hate some of the scenes because they really do reduce the guys to a piece of meat.”

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This poster took up residence in the office… Sorry Shelley!

Attractive semi-naked people bring out the worst in large crowds.

I was slightly horrified when Tatum mentioned his wife, Jenna Dewan Tatum, in the Q&A session after the film and was heartily booed by the crowd.

“You can’t boo his wife!” I thought indignantly.

Shelley says, “I feel like it turned the audience members into the worst version of themselves.”

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Channing Tatum and his wife Jenna Dewan Tatum.

It was pretty funny, and sometimes even on purpose.

Despite the sexiness and the thrusting, there was a lot of humour in this film. In fact, things can be sexy and hilarious all at once (again, you really need to see the Joe Manganiello service station scene).

“I actually thought the sequel was better than the original,” says Shelley. “This film was really funny.  Like laugh out loud funny.”

Check out our Magic Mike gallery of hotness.

Are you going to see Magic Mike XXL? It hits cinemas 8 July.

More on our main man Channing Tatum?

Channing Tatum shows off seven dance moves in 30 seconds.

Channing Tatum acts out Magic Mike scenes written by children.

If you ever meet Channing Tatum’s penis, be sure to call it by its name.

 

 

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