To catch up on all the Married at First Sight recaps and gossip, check out the MAFS hub page. We've got you covered.
All our fake married couples so far are having fun, touchy-feely time with each other and/or kangaroos on their honeymoons.
And we get a close-up shot of Timothy's "chunky, girthy" and now beautifully painted feet. Can we get a feet trigger warning next time, please?
The music turns dramatic, Melbourne enjoys a 10-second tourist ad with drone footage, and JOHN AIKEN HAS BAD NEWS TO DELIVER.
He's wearing a fancy jacket. He rubs his hands together in nervous anticipation. The music swells. He is giving 'hero about to confront the big baddie in a spy thriller'. And I like it.
Instead of a big baddie, the door opens to reveal sweet Utah darling Michael.
"It's highly unusual for me to come and visit a participant," John says, which is true. This is extra work and John is a pioneer in the quiet quitting world.
"After....... the bucks...... and the hens.... night..... your....... match," he continues.
I'm starting to worry that he's secretly auditioning to host The Bachelor. Those pauses are straight out of the Osher Günsberg school of reality TV hosting.