Mamamia recaps Married At First Sight: One groom discovers that marrying a stranger is... a lot.

To catch up on all the Married at First Sight recaps and gossip, check out the MAFS hub page. We've got you covered.

All our fake married couples so far are having fun, touchy-feely time with each other and/or kangaroos on their honeymoons.

And we get a close-up shot of Timothy's "chunky, girthy" and now beautifully painted feet. Can we get a feet trigger warning next time, please?

OOH.

The music turns dramatic, Melbourne enjoys a 10-second tourist ad with drone footage, and JOHN AIKEN HAS BAD NEWS TO DELIVER.

He's wearing a fancy jacket. He rubs his hands together in nervous anticipation. The music swells. He is giving 'hero about to confront the big baddie in a spy thriller'. And I like it.

Instead of a big baddie, the door opens to reveal sweet Utah darling Michael. 

"It's highly unusual for me to come and visit a participant," John says, which is true. This is extra work and John is a pioneer in the quiet quitting world.

"After....... the bucks...... and the hens.... night..... your....... match," he continues.

I'm starting to worry that he's secretly auditioning to host The Bachelor. Those pauses are straight out of the Osher Günsberg school of reality TV hosting. 

It turns out that Simon, Michael's "ideal match", quit MAFS over email.

"This happened because your match couldn't cope with the experiment, and the unknown," John explains. He politely leaves out the cheating scandals, the wine throwing, the toothbrush desecrating, the three months of nightly judgment from viewers, and the further 12 months of Daily Mail coverage, etc.

The good news is that the experts have not lost hope.

"I promise this to you and also the producers"

Our next bride is Natalie, the anti-Bondi babe whose introduction package reveals she would probably get along well with Lucinda's friend. The one with the birds. In her freezer.

She is a physio whose dad died six weeks ago. 

Okay, pause. 

Was 'recent personal tragedy' a part of this year's casting requirements? Is this the best environment for people amid such personal tragedy and grief???? 

On a brighter note, Natalie also has what most other introductions have been sorely missing so far this year:

HELLO THERE FRIEND YOU ARE SO CUTE

She has been matched with a trivia host named Collins. He reckons his mates would describe him as a "closet nerd" and lovingly, the closet is glass.

He's got no previous relationship experience but feels like he's done a lot of personal growth to be comfortable with who he is. Love that for him.

Alessandra says "Natalie and Collins are not our typical couple here on MAFS.". By this, we can only presume she means they appear to be here for more than the discount codes.

Tonight's second marriage is between cuddly kickboxer Jayden and dog mum Eden.

Then we meet Jayden's brother.

IT'S MITCH.

Season nine 'fake-married-to-Ella-and-straight-up-hated-the-experiment' Mitch.

We're so deep into MAFS that there are family dynasties emerging. Do you think it is like schooling, where you're more likely to get in if you already have a sibling enrolled?

Jayden immediately distances himself from Mitch's entire vibe. In fact, Mitch's advice for his brother was to do precisely the opposite of what he did. 

It is the correct advice.

Both Jayden and Eden have been cheated on — a wonderful, wholesome common ground to bond over, we are told.

Eden also drastically ups the episode's dog content ratio because she spends all her time with sweet angel baby Cub.

THE GOODEST BOY

It's Collins and Natalie's wedding day and they're both making Disney references. 

If that ain't a sign of good things to come, I don't know wh-

Oh.

Natalie, walking towards the aisle in heels, just rolled her ankle. 

THREE TIMES.

The most relatable moments ever shown in this series.

F*** limos, this is how all brides should arrive at their wedding

They immediately hit it off because of footy and Swiftiedom. Zero snark when I say a man with Eras Tour tickets is waving the greenest of flags.

Okay, the flags yellowed slightly. 

He's forgotten her name.

Unfortunately, Collins does not remember it all too well

Jayden and Eden's wedding day begins with tears, as Eden's friend Lili talks about her as if she's a superhero.

Alert your group chats: the bar for friendship is forever raised.

Besides a brief moment where Jayden acts like 'kickboxer' is a terrible slur, his and Eden's wedding goes off without a hitch.

At their reception, Natalie/Nat/Not Late To Dinner and Collins debate dorkiness and also discover a mutual passion for Green Day, before Collins reveals he's finding it all... a lot.

A loootttttt

Jayden and Eden seem like a really good match. He's got the bestie tick of approval, they have the same priorities and literally live 10 minutes apart.

The only problem? Jayden has decided she's not that into him, and while I am no John Aiken, I think we can all agree it's down to insecurity and self-sabotage.

Mitch is the hero absolutely none of us saw coming and talks some sense into his brother, and then Eden herself tells him she felt instantly at ease in his presence.

Raise the alarm! That was just a good and healthy example of communication on MAFS!

Suddenly... Mitch is reminiscing about his fake wedding day and says it's bittersweet. He starts talking about Ella and his regrets and SORRY BUT DID YOU NOT ABSOLUTELY DESPISE THIS SHOW.

"So many good times"

Natalie has a gift for Collins: a necklace with one half of a PlayStation controller. It's cute, but the next five minutes are basically all about pointing out how uncomfortable and overwhelmed he is.

The next morning, Eden and Jayden cuddle and prepare for their honeymoon in the Whitsundays.

Elsewhere, Natalie is disappointed that Collins slept in a separate bed. Except Collins didn't... sleep. 

"I didn't go on a second date, I didn't go on a third date, I just got married to someone I've never met," he states, finally understanding the very concept of the show.

Aaaand he's freaking out about it.

"I'm in this wholeheartedly, but at the same time, this is really, really unfamiliar territory for me," he tells Natalie, admitting that despite jumping straight into a fake marriage with a stranger, he's looking for more of a slow burn.

Did we just get two different open and honest conversations about feelings from two different grooms in the same episode? One for the history books.

Collins instantly seems more comfortable about heading to their honeymoon, but suddenly... Natalie's crying in her room.

Woopsie.

See you tomorrow.

Catch up on our MAFS recaps here:

• Mamamia recaps Married At First Sight: HE DID NOT JUST SAY THAT.
• Mamamia recaps Married At First Sight: Lucinda is the MAFS hero we need.

Chelsea McLaughlin is Mamamia's Senior Entertainment Writer. For more pop culture takes, recommendations and sarcasm, you can follow her on Instagram.

Feature image: Nine.