There was little more the MAFS-watching population (and expert Mel Schilling) cared about than whether Mark and Ning were banging.
The will they-won’t they bang dynamic (a trope as old as time) between the slightly dysfunctional faux married couple had us hooked.
Watch Ning and Mark’s very awkward first conversation at the altar. Post continues below.
… It also made us realise we are filthy perverts who find the sex lives of total strangers utterly fascinating.
As it turns out, even our favourite Aussie celebrities
are perves found themselves as immersed in Mark and Ning’s infamously cold sex life as us.
Enter Guy Sebastian… and a video of giraffes.
Posting to Instagram, the former Eurovision contestant captioned the wildlife footage “Actual footage of Mark and Ning from #MAFS.”
In the footage, a female giraffe can be seen grazing in the wild (supposedly Ning – whose first words to her husband were “I’m just here for the food”, so we guess it’s fitting) as a male giraffe attempts to mount her from behind.
This is… Mark.
The female, however, quickly scurries away from the male and all that is missing is Ning’s red dress and Mel Schilling saying the word ‘intimate’ over and over.