A family in Bal Harbour, Florida, received a letter complaining about their teenage daughter asking them to move out of their apartment complex, last year.
The writer of the letter holds the sixteen-year-old-girl’s autism responsible for her “major issues” that prevent her from being “socialized with others.” The writer also claims they are speaking on behalf of all 300 residents of the building.
The letter came to the attention of Bal Harbour Mayor Gabriel Groisman, who posted a photo of it to his Facebook page:
The Mayor shared the letter in clear disgust of the accusations against the girl. The note would be appalling under any circumstances, but is especially so considering it is about a teenager with autism.
The letter, which was pushed under the family’s apartment door, begins with the following words angrily typed in bold font:
“The 300 residents of this building will not compromise their quality of life any longer.”
The writer complains that the teenager lacks impulse control and often screams, something which is “unacceptable” to the neighbours. According to the complainant, the girl is “large framed and hefty”, so when she moves around, it is noisy.
But the writer isn’t satisfied by simply attacking the girl; they also criticise the family for their lack of parenting and control of the ‘situation’, which is why they demand that the family move out of the building.
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This may be a case where a mediator is useful. If the girl is screaming loudly, that is disturbing the peace and a close living situation like an apartment may be unfair to other residents. A rented house could be more suitable. I also doubt the ENTIRE building requested her removal. I assume it's the next-door neighbor, affected by her loud noises. A mediator with the landlord and the family and the affected neighbor(s) would be more effective to find a solution than a letter.
Not sure what a mediator could do to improve the sitation, though. Similarly, as the article alludes, educating people about autism doesn't make challenging or disruptive behaviour any easier to live with.
A mediator could suggest a solution that takes into consideration both parties. If the young woman is truly disruptive, it can be borne out on the parents that an apartment with shared walls is not appropriate living space, and help them seek a detached house to rent. If the person(s) who complained is unreasonable and making up things, just because they don't like the family or have some other phobia about autistic people, that would come out, too.
Would be good to see a balanced report of their side of the story, and the other side too. Apartment living can be really difficult if there is a very disruptive person living nearby - the communal spaces are for the enjoyment of all, and it is somewhat unreasonable to expect one's neighbours to put up with a level of disruption that would be considered above-and-beyond for most.
I agree.
Regardless of the 'other side', that note is unacceptable. They could have gone and discussed it like adults with the parents.
Plus, disabled people have to live somewhere. A bit of tolerance of differences isn't that hard.
I disagree. Some "differences" are so invasive and disruptive that it is unreasonable to expect others to tolerate them day in, day out. Living in high density housing is not appropriate if someone cannot abide by the communal rules that are there for the wellbeing of the group.
I agree that the note is OTT, but then again, attempting discussing things face-to-face these days often leads to physical and verbal violence, so I can see why people go the anonymous route. What's more, no amount of discussion would be likely to change this girl's behaviour - it's not as though you can politely ask for her to stop being autistic.