entertainment

Kyle and Jackie O are being offered HOW much?

HOW MANY MILLION?

Kiis FM radio stars Kyle and Jackie O are reportedly about to be offered a whopping $12 million to return to the Southern Cross Austereo network’s Hit 104.1 2Day station after being poached by Kiis earlier in 2015.

And if $12 million seems like an awful lot for two people who once convinced a man to give himself fellatio live on air… it is.

Most of us can only dream of a $12 million salary. But if it were to happen (who do I have to force to fellate themselves around here for a pay rise?), this is what we’d spend it on.

1. Two private islands. 

Yes, there are houses in Sydney that are more expensive than owning your own island in the Pacific. No, I don’t want to talk about it.

2. Twelve Orca whales. 

Turns out Willy is not so free after all. He and his pals will cost you about a million bucks each. (Worth it for the movie re-enactments alone).

3. Flying first class on one hundred round-the-world holidays. 

The first class cabin on Singapore Airlines.

You’d have to go around the world twice a week and never disembark the plane to get it done. Such are the struggles of being outrageously wealthy.

4. Vaccinating 40 million children in the developing world against the measles. 

5. Three of these outrageously expensive cars. 

I don’t really get cars, but red ones definitely go faster. Presumably the $4 million price tag comes with a butler who gives you foot massages while you drive and will serve you for life.

6. Inviting Miley Cyrus to your house six times. 

I sincerely can’t tell if this website is real or not, but I really hope it is.

7. Hiring Aaron Carter to sing you a lullaby 80 times. 

Only $75,000? AARON CARTER IS ON SPECIAL, EVERYONE.

8. One these baths for every bathroom in your house. If your house has twelve bathrooms. 

Kind of like that time I slipped into a puddle at Jenolan Caves, but much more expensive.

9. Three pizzas a day for 438 years. 

Delivery, of course. You’re not an animal.

10. Cloning yourself six times. 

Technology pending, of course.

11. Invest it. 

…… KIDDING, obviously.

Are Kyle and Jackie O worth $12 million?

Read more: 

Kyle Sandilands’ coconut water is being investigated as a sham.

Kyle and Jackie O pay man $1000 to fellate himself on-air.

Kyle Sandilands would like you to know that his new girlfriend is really hot. Okay?