Kim K appears to have dipped her body in a vat of silver paint for a night out with her sisters.
No but seriously, they’re pants, very, very tight pants, and they’re making our vaginas hurt just looking at them.
But also: she looks like a sexy, matte, lady-shaped baked potato and…how?
Obviously we have thoughts, questions, feelings and concerns:
How did she get inside them?
We don't think we'll ever truly know the answer to this, so here's a theory:
There's someone on the Kardashian payroll whose job is solely to help Kim shimmy her way into incredibly tight clothing. Like a human shoe horn.
They live in the back of Kim's closet and they sleep hanging upside down like a bat, and when she wants to wear something particularly tight she rings a little bell and they emerge to fulfil their duty (after they've adjusted to the light, of course).
They put on some Enya and Kim does some breathing exercises. There's a smudging ceremony and they hold hands for a while until Kim feels calm and ready.
Sometimes, Kim has to lay down on the bed for the sacred pants pulling, but mostly she just has to do that awkward leg-bum wiggle we do when our jeans are freshly washed while the human shoe horn does some very vigorous yanking all while soothing Kim by telling her to "breaaaaathe".
Once Kim's strapped in and ready to go she tosses the shoe horn a little piece of cheese and they scurry back into the closet to rest their arm muscles before the next job.
The shoe horn might also be Gollum.