Kim was made to sit in a half-empty movie theatre. Then all her guests took the piss out of her.
Kim Kardashian just had a really weird birthday party.
The party came courtesy of her husband Kanye West. Kim’s being really sweet about it, but sometimes dudes just have no idea. Men, amirite?
“My husband never ceases the amaze me! He rented out the entire movie theater to screen the new Steve Jobs (It’s sooooo good BTW) and had all of my family & close friends come dressed up as their best pregnant Kim look (fake baby bumps provided on arrival!),” she wrote next to a picture of her birthday cake on Instagram.
“Not sure if that was to make me feel less huge or just a fun cool theme but I loved it & had the best time ever, feeling so very comfortable eating churros with a bunch of pregnant women! Just what I needed, the perfect chill yummy food birthday!!!!”
Let’s unpack this, shall we?
West hired out the Cinepolis Luxury Cinemas in California and invited a host of lesser Kardashians and Kardashian hangers-on to come and celebrate the overlord Kim.
Kim, oblivious to the horror being committed in her honour, entered the cinema only to be greeted by her nearest and dearest wearing fake bellies and butts held in place by too-tight clothing.
Caitlyn Jenner was there too. Did she wear a fake belly too? This all sounds a little odd.
Next, poor Kimbo was herded into the cinema to watch a film about Steve Jobs. Undoubtedly he’s an interesting subject matter, but there have already been two films inspired by his life.
West has a history with Jobs. A fascination.
“I think what Kanye West is going to mean is something similar to what Steve Jobs means. I am undoubtedly, you know, Steve of Internet, downtown, fashion, culture. Period. By a long jump,” West told the New York Times in 2013.
“I honestly feel that because Steve has passed, you know, it’s like when Biggie passed and Jay Z was allowed to become Jay Z.”
Whose birthday was it, again?
Wouldn’t Kim have preferred something fun, like Baby Boom with Diane Keaton, or what about Juno, or Knocked Up, or Baby Mama? Considering West went to such pains to insist this was a “pregnant birthday,” you’d think he’d have tailored the entertainment to the theme?
Finally, just when she thought things couldn’t get any worse, she found out the refreshments were catered by an outfit called Margarita Man.
We’d like to imagine that at this point, Kim ran around the room punching people in their fake bellies, snatching margaritas from their hands then emptying the contents over West’s face.
Check out some of Kim’s actual “best pregnant looks”…