real life

Justin Bieber is now procuring women through Instagram.

Oh golly.

Justin Bieber, 21, recently discovered the smokey-eyed, plump-lipped visage of a young woman on Instagram.

It pleased him.

Then, with a regal click of his mouse, he regrammed her image, beaming it to his 47.2 million followers, and demanded they find her for him. “Omg who is this!!” he wrote, with no regard for correct punctuation nor the privacy of the face-owner.

The photo now has 1.2 million likes. Creepy, no?

The Instagram hordes dutifully did as they were told, and now that woman, the two-first-named Cindy Kimberly, is dealing with the wrath of millions of scorned tweenage Beliebers.

I guess now that he knows her identity, he can now nab the woman of his dreams with some opening gambit brimming with charisma such as, “Wat u doin’.

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Bieber has turned Intagram into his own personal Tinder. Image via Instagram.

“I so do not know how to deal with this but I only have instagram and tumblr so whatever other stuff people are finding is fake (I did use to have a twitter account but I deactivated),” is the last thing Kimberley posted to her Instagram @wolfiecindy account.

It doesn’t reveal too much about her, except that yes, she does own a pretty face, and also: “My name is Cindy and I get too excited about fictional related stuff.”

It’s as though Instagram is Justin Bieber’s personal dating service. He is now able to procure a girl that fits his physical specifications from a screen, whether she likes it or not.

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This isn’t new behaviour. The pop star regularly selects young beauties to “party” with him after his shows.

In Australia earlier this year, 18-year-old Bailey Scarlett was one such girl.

Scarlett, who bears a passing resemblance to Kimberly and Selena Gomez (Biebs has a type), made international headlines after attending a private Bieber bash in a Melbourne recording studio.

She said that Beiber had requested a bunch of “‘hot’ girls/models to go hang out with him”, and she was sourced by a promotor to attend.

She alleged that her drink was spiked at the party, which caused her to become incoherent, with blurred vision. She panicked and began to cry.

bailey scarlett feat
Bailey Scarlett. Image via Instagram.

As she drifted in and out of consciousness, Scarlett said she heard Bieber tell his entourage to get her out of there. He even accused her of suffering “Beiber fever”, she said.

Bieber watchers say his Instagram inquiry indicates he’s ready to move on from his ex-girlfriend Selena Gomez, but it seems as though his methods of courtship have warped with his fame and wealth.

Nevertheless, we’ll update you further on the progress of Bieber’s courting should we feel it necessary.

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