This post deals with eating disorders, and could be triggering for some readers.
"I dunno if you’ve seen this, but I hope you’re okay."
Your heart immediately sinks. It’s a message no one wants to receive; only for me, I knew exactly what it was about as soon as I saw it.
At the end of my chaotic week at PayPal’s Melbourne Fashion Festival, I continued the high and closed off my experience with a moment of appreciation for my body by posting a photograph.
You see, despite public discord surrounding my relationship with self-love, I haven’t always been this positive.
Throughout my early teens and 20s, I dealt with some scary demons. Disordered eating, body dysmorphia and persistent negative thoughts plagued me day in and out.
I used to be so ashamed about the size of my clothes that I would cut the tags off. The thing was, it never really mattered what the tag said, it was never good enough.
If you’ve experienced what I’m describing, firstly I am so sorry. This is not a burden I would wish upon anyone. Secondly, you would understand wholeheartedly that these feelings of inadequacy never truly leave you. Instead, they turn into background noise, something you must actively work to tune out.
So, work I did. And I worked hard. What once saw me clinging to the belief that living only begins at a certain dress size, now sees me celebrating the very thing I feared so deeply.