By KATE HUNTER
On Monday night I set the cat amongst the turtle doves with what I thought was a light-hearted status update on Facebook.
There had been a story on iVillage that day about Jennifer Aniston and Justin Theroux being reluctant to set a wedding date, a year after their engagement. My opinion was that you get engaged and set a date. Sooner rather than later. It’s a sign you’re serious. That didn’t go down well.
I don’t think Jen and Justin are lying awake, troubled by my comments. They seem very happy.
In an interview with Us Weekly, Jennifer Aniston said,
“We just want to do it when its perfect and we’re not rushed and no one is rushing from a job or rushing to a job. You know, we already feel married.”
So why get married at all? I wondered. Is it the party? The recognition? I’m genuinely curious.
I didn’t mean they don’t seem serious about each other. No doubt they’re committed to their relationship, but the marriage part? That’s easily pushed down the to-do list.
Not that there’s anything wrong with not being married.
These days it’s is an optional extra. If you’re into that kind of thing, great. If not, no worries.
There’s no shame in living together and divorce is invariably painful but entirely possible.
Babies are born into happily unmarried families every day.
So I completely get not getting married.
What I don’t understand is the endless engagement. People who announce breathlessly that they’re engaged, but when asked, ‘When’s the wedding?’ they say, ‘Maybe late 2017 or early 2018,’ or, ‘When the renovation’s finished,’ or ‘We haven’t even thought about it! We just want to enjoy being ENGAGED!’
Maybe I’m showing my age, but I’ve always felt you get engaged to get married. And an engagement should last as long as it takes to plan a wedding, in my opinion, that’s 6 to 12 months.
Clearly I’m a dinosaur, and a judgey one at that.
Facebook commenters told me, very sharply, that being engaged means a whole raft of different things to different people these days and who the hell was I to question their reasons: