After coming out of a seriously crappy time post-break-up last year (by that I mean a mini-breakdown), I’ve spent the last eight months in many therapy sessions, debriefs with girlfriends and dived headfirst into some deep, uncomfortable work on myself.
I’ve started to reflect on what hasn’t worked for me in past relationships, and since finding love again in a new partnership (much sooner than I expected to), I’ve asked myself: why is this working when the others haven’t?
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As a helpless romantic, I always thought love was enough. When I married 11 years ago, I was naive to the red flags that would’ve been obvious to anyone else and, like many others, have discovered a pattern of subconsciously picking the wrong partner, because I thought being in love was enough to carry it through. It turns out there’s a lot more to it.
COVID boyfriend (Alex) and I have been isolating together since the pandemic began, when we had only been on a couple of dates.
We knew this would be an interesting experiment during an interesting time. But what has made this relationship work when it could have easily blown up in our faces?
Speaking with my friend and life and relationship coach, Megan Luscombe (a total guru on all things sex and relationships), she said we aren’t alone in this experience: she’s talking to others who have approached dating in new ways, and found that isolation has either expedited the depth of the relationship or brought about the end of it sooner.
She says, “Couples who isolate together have had to learn about each other’s behaviours quickly. What would have been a dating process of getting to know each other over six months instead has become a crash course in two.
Some couples thrive in this type of scenario, almost in a baptism by fire way. Whereas some fail and ultimately their relationship ends.”