Both of our kids go to daycare. They have for most of their short lives.
Every once in a while I stumble across an article or a conversation where folks are talking about how horrible it is that some kids have to go to daycare.
There is a lot of guilt out there to roll around in. I know. I know. If Stevie and I really prioritised our kids we should be able to figure something out where one of us could stay home. It’s really the best gift we can could give to our kids and if we love them we should really consider it. They are only going to be kids once, and if we didn’t plan on raising our kids, why did we have them in the first place?
Seriously, these are things I have heard… or read. The internet is full of people who think they know things.
The irony in that last sentence aside, here’s the thing: My wife and I bought a house while we were employed, and then we had two kids.
Our incomes are spoken for. Unless we want to sell the house, or one of our salaries magically doubles in the next year, the kids are going to daycare and preschool.
Sorry Internet. Sorry kids. I guess we fail.
Here are 5 ways that us sending our kids to daycare is supposedly ruining them…
1. They are getting sick!
The kids have basically been petri dishes for the last three years.
There is rarely a time that my kids’ noses aren’t running, and at least once a year it sounds like they are developing black lung – which isn’t fair at all because they aren’t bringing home any coal.
Stevie and I have been sick non-stop too. We’re basically paying a second mortgage payment every month for the most expensive, never ending cold ever.
But there is hope.
According to this thing I just Googled to reaffirm my position, in the short term kids who go to daycare may be sicker than their stay at home counterparts but by the time they get to grade school they basically have the immune systems of indestructible super humans and the only problem they will face is whether to use their newfound super-mutant immune system powers for good or evil (slightly paraphrased).
2. I’m apparently turning my kids into tiny adorable Nazis.
“Sometimes I feel kind of bad sending the kids to daycare, but at least I know they will be around other kids and learn to socialize in a group setting,” said Stevie.
“You know who else socialised their kids? The Nazis,” the Internet replied. Yep. That’s what this fantastic, guilt flinging article by the Institute of Marriage and Family Canada seems to say.
“It should be clear that being socialized is not necessarily the same as being civilized. Nazi youth were also products of a socialisation process.”
I’m sure there are other words in that article, but when I get the impression that you are comparing my wife and I sending our kids to Loving Kids Learning Center to embedding them in a Hitler Youth Camp, well I just kind of shut down.
Top Comments
This is a wonderfully entertaining piece of writing which makes a serious point. An equally entertaining piece could be written presenting another point of view. Both are valid. Personally, we have mixed and matched the daycare and the SAHM approach as circumstances evolved. I think the general consensus is that our daughters are doing fine.
http://www.imfcanada.org/is...
The article you refer to is written in a Canadian context where parents are told they must put their children in care in order that they be socialized. Busting this myth, we referred to well-known developmental psychologist Urie Bronfenbrenner who said the quote you take issue with. The point has actually nothing to do with daycare. The point is that socializing is different from civilizing.
As author of the piece, I should say I am not against daycare. With this article I aim to point out that often parents send their children for a reason (socialization) that is not being achieved. There are other (good) reasons to send a child to daycare, but socialization at ages below five is not one of them, according to the developmental psychologists quoted in the article.
My article says nothing about daycare being wrong, only that parents should know what is being achieved in daycare. There are daycares that pay heed to attachment principles--which are important--and we wish more daycares would be careful about this.
I write to correct your unnecessarily inflammatory misinterpretation here.
The "daycare wars" are tiring for all parents. Certainly throwing oil on the flame by misinterpreting articles is not helpful.
Thank you.
Andrea Mrozek