Athena Walker, a clinically diagnosed psychopath, answers the question: Can psychopaths have successful romantic relationships?
We are somewhat difficult to deal with for a normally wired person. Intimacy can be a problem. I am not wired for outreach. When the cues are there for physical contact, a hug when someone is upset or just bonding intimacy, it is something I have to remind myself to do and even then I tend to be a bit awkward about it.
I am fiercely loyal and unlike the standards of psychopathic testing, I do not believe in cheating. I don’t do it, and I will immediately remove someone from my life who would do it to me. I am difficult to fight with. I tend to manipulate, be aggressive in my attacks, know where to hurt a person the most and do so for the primary reasoning of pain infliction.
All of this, plus much more has to be tempered in order for the relationship to have a chance. I have to recognise these things in myself and make conscious effort to counteract them.
I am a fixer. I don’t want to endlessly hear about why you’re upset with me. Tell me you are, explain to me without trying to emotionally manipulate me why what I did upset you and I will do my best to address it to the utmost of my ability. Don’t fight me using emotion, it will not work. It will make you appear weak to me, and I don’t like or respect weakness.
However, fight with me. If you always give into me I also will not respect you. You’re too easy and you give up too quickly. I require that strength in my partner that shows me what they are made of. We may fight, but at least I know you don’t submit to me because it’s easier. The stronger someone is, within reason, the more likely I am to respect them, and the more likely I am to make concessions to suit them and their needs.
Still selfish though. It’s always going to be there. My first inclination is what I want. For that to be different I have to shelve my first reaction and decide I will choose something else to do. Everything is a choice.