Instagram is changing. And we’re not happy about it.

Instagram, as we know it, is dead.

Soon, your Instagram feed of exotic short-haired persians and clarendon-filtered sunsets will look remarkably different, with thanks to a new personalised algorithm.

Following in the footsteps of Facebook and Twitter, the app will soon move away from the chronological organisation of posts and instead hero photos based on a user’s friends, interests and other strictly-very-top-secret data.

In a blogpost explaining the new algorithm, the company said, “The order of photos and videos in your feed will be based on the likelihood you’ll be interested in the content, your relationship with the person posting and the timeliness of the post.”

#followmeto Varanasi, India with @natalyosmann. My favorite one so far :).

A photo posted by Murad Osmann (@muradosmann) on


They continued, “If your favorite musician shares a video from last night’s concert, it will be waiting for you when you wake up, no matter how many accounts you follow or what time zone you live in.”

Really, Instagram?

Let me just walk you through what this might look like:

1. The new algorithm means your up-until-now secret stalker behaviour will influence who and what you see – and increase your chances of being caught out.

2. Unfortunately, the Kardashian’s grip upon us all will continue to exist.

3. You may be forced to get a fringe without consulting everyone you know (or may have met once in your life). Note to self: Don’t get a fringe, it’s always a mistake.

4. There’s a likelihood no one will see your fringe disaster. Instagram, I’ll give it to you, that’s a bonus.

5. You may miss a poignant and potentially life-altering, #soblessed quote. In fact, it could have been the one to set you on the path to enlightenment.


#beach #vibes A photo posted by Unspirational (@unspirational) on


6. Someone may post a photo of a poached egg – a really excellent poached egg, the kind with soy-sauce-infused-mushrooms and spinach – and you won’t get to comment, “yum [insert food-based emoji].”

7. You may die without anyone seeing that matcha-latte you painstakingly photographed, cropped, filtered long enough for it to go cold.

Is this really a world we want to live in? I think not.

Instagram may be silly, it may be superficial and it may or may not be reality but it’s simple. Above all else. And in what other aspect of our lives are we confronted with utter simplicity?

You post a picture. Your friend or acquaintance sees that picture. They like it, or they don’t. They scroll onwards. You scroll onwards.

It’s fair, it’s equal and it’s impartial.

Or at least it was.

If we wanted curation and military precision to rival North Korea, we’d still be on Facebook.

How do you feel about Instagram changing?