When it comes to divorce, there’s no rulebook which dictates when you should and shouldn’t get one.
Not every divorce must be the outcome of a catastrophic event, nor does a “catastrophic event” within a marriage mean an immediate divorce should follow.
So how do you know if divorce is the right option for you? And once you’ve made that decision, what next?
Mamamia’s newest podcast, The Split, is here to answer every prickly question for you, because with one in three marriages ending in divorce, it’s something we need desperately to talk about despite our natural instincts to avoid it.
Over eight weeks, host Mandy Nolan (a self-confessed “accidental” marriage and divorce expert) along with a series of divorce-savvy guests will be holding your hand through what can feel like the loneliest time of your life.
In the first episode below, she addresses how you know if your relationship is just in a bad patch, or if it’s truly over.
Speaking to psychotherapist, counsellor and couples therapist Melissa Ferrari, she asks the question anyone who’s stayed in a relationship beyond the fire burning out would have pondered: what does it really mean when the sex stops?
“Sex is such an important part of having a relationship,” Melissa began.
“You know, that physical contact, any kind of thing that’s eye to eye or skin to skin is really going to help that couple keep that bond going.”
She says while every relationship is different, and that some couples are able to get past a lapse in intimacy, ultimately, it’s an issue that needs to be addressed.
“If people aren’t having sex or one is wanting it more than the other, those kind of things can be worked through, but if a couple has really grown apart in a place where they’re not wanting to have sex with each other, or they’re avoiding each other, that’s really really not a good sign.
“While there are some couples that can decide its not an important part of a relationship, my observations, and I’ve been doing this for over 20 years, is that sex is important part of a relationship and if its not happening it needs to be addressed.”
“I think you’re a bit nicer to your partner when you’ve been having sex,” added Mandy with a laugh.