real life

'My husband and I only have sex a few times a year. And that's fine.'

By MICHELE ZIPP

There are some people who want to have sex every single day. And I think many would actually do so if there were more than 24 hours in a day without over eight of them spent working and hopefully at least seven of them sleeping.

But some would rather have sex be just an occasional thing. Like Julia*, a 20-something married mom of one, who admits she thinks sex is highly overrated.

She thinks sex is too fussy, too complicated, and should be reserved for very special occasions like anniversaries and birthdays. If you don’t have it all the time, it’s better and more exciting when you do, she says.

I’ll let her explain. Julia writes:

I’ve never been a very sexual kind of person. Though I will say I’ve had plenty of sex, probably too much back in my younger years before I met my husband. When Joe* and I got together, we would have sex a lot, like most couples do when it’s new.

But then as time went on, the sex became less and less, and we were both completely fine with it. We’ve talked about it and both really like having sex a few times a year, mostly on special occasions. We still kiss, we even “make out” and cuddle and hold hands and all that kind of stuff.

Holding hands is nice – but better than sex?

We both masturbate on our own, though I only have those urges about once a month. But when it comes to having sex, we like to do it on our anniversary, birthdays, and sometimes another special moment during the year depending on the circumstances.

We are still an intimate couple, we are in love, are extremely blessed parents to a sweet little boy, and it works for us.

I often feel a little odd when friends tell me how they want to have sex with their husbands more.

I feel like I can’t tell them that my husband and I don’t — that we prefer our few times a year sex, but I don’t want people to be judgemental or think something is wrong with us. We are happy.

There are no extramaritial things going on. It just works for us like this. And … when we do have sex … it’s incredible because it’s not something we have all the time, so it’s like it’s new.

*Names have been changed.

This post was originally published by Michele Zipp on thestir.cafemom.com. You can read the original post here. You can also read a post about the married couple who cheat on each other with the same woman or a post on the explanantion behind the ‘Beer Goggle’ effect.

Michele Zipp is a high heel wearing writer, magician, sleuth, and twin mama with tattoos. She takes care of the kids by day and writes and gives Baby Prep classes by night. She also get personal on Mommy With Tattoos and mouthy at Daily Momtra.

How often do you and your partner have sex? Do you wish you had more or less?

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