To be really, really good at giving oral sex, you have to be a generous person who enjoys giving as much as receiving. Being able to deliver delicious oral sex has nothing to do with being born with a big tongue, it takes skill – and it says a lot about a person.
While a decent size penis is indeed a nice bonus, that’s just Mother Nature having a generous day.
Oral sex is an act where enthusiasm is everything, being squeamish spoils and the willingness to take time is paramount.
Get it right and you inspire slavish loyalty.
Get into position
Because lots of women rely on oral sex to provide them with their orgasm and tend to take longer than men to reach one, it’s crucial the position you choose is one you’re comfortable in. Pillows are ideal to achieve this: pop one under her bum to raise her genitals and one under your arms/chest.
Making sure you’re supported and that your head/neck aren’t strained can alter both the angle and pressure of your technique – with brilliant results for both.
Check out this blog for position ideas.
Get to work
The only real expert on how and where she wants to be stimulated is your partner says sex guru Bernie Zildergeld. Never a truer word spoken.
She might well shrug and say ‘Anything’ in the beginning when you ask her what she wants because she’s shy, but you’ve given her the green light to later instruct you without fear of offending. Before your tongue has even connected, you’ve already scored major points!
The basic rules of giving her great oral, however, do tend to apply to most women:
Keep it wet. Mouths get dry and dry oral sex irritates rather than excites. Keep a glass of water handy or take mini breaks to come back up and kiss for a while. Another way to generate saliva: double your tongue back to touch the underside to the top of your mouth and hold it there for a few seconds.
Keep it slow, gentle and consistent. Most women prefer repetition when it comes to oral sex: keeping the same pressure, pace and technique won’t brand you boring but brilliant. Again though, be warned this is a generalisation. It works for most but not all – always ask and be alert to her body language.
LISTEN: Porn star Madison Missina explains the effects of different penis shapes and sizes, and discusses the variety that she’s experienced.
Flatten your tongue rather than using the tip and start with big, slow licks, keeping your tongue wide and flat. Alternate with little, fast darting ones with a tenser tongue until you can tell which she likes best.
Use one hand to pull up the fleshy part of mons – this makes it easier to see the clitoris protruding. Also try moving your head up and down as you’re licking (your tongue will tire if it does all the work). Experiment with sides – lots of women like one side of their clitoris stimulated more than the other.