Whenever someone hears my estimated number of sexual partners it’s always the next question I get.
“What’s the biggest you’ve seen?”
So when Carla GS, my lovely, prudish friend asked me, she got an answer she probably wasn’t expecting:
Because penises come in all shapes and sizes. The biggest was the roughly the size of my forearm, the smallest was the size of my thumb.
And yes, I made sex work with both. And you can too.
The biggest, and the smallest I've seen.
The key here is not the size of the penis. They key to great sex at any size lies within the vagina.
Vagina's are awesome. Like a muscle they are capable of relaxing, stretching and ballooning, as well as contracting. Think about it, our vaginas are both capable of birthing babies, as well as holding tampons securely.
So with appropriate foreplay we can have good sex regardless of penis size, shape or angle.
Some penises - due to a condition called peyronies disease - develop a bend, meaning the erection has up to a 90-degree angle in it, but it doesn't mean you can't have great sex. As always, the key is communication. So speak up if something is causing discomfort or if you’re not really feeling it in a particular position.
Here are my tips for working with penises; no matter the size.
Whether it's a thumb or a gherkin, the key is to awaken the G-spot.
This is located about 1-2 cm inside our vagina - it feels like little ridges. During arousal when we stimulate this spot, it will engorge with blood. It becomes sensitive, and will move lower, and closer to the entrance of the vagina, making it easier for shorter penises to stimulate it.
Positions such as missionary with a pillow under our butts, and our legs back can really help the shorter penis penetrate deeper.
For thinner penises we need to contract our vaginal muscles around the penis. So this is the time to use our kegels, or pelvis floor squeezes, to grip the penis while it's inside the vagina.
Play around with positions for thinner penises. Sometimes rear entry lying side-by-side is really good, as the penis will then rub along your G-spot and anterior fornix, which are your two interior orgasmic spots.
Wide girth Penises.
This is the simplest penis to work with. Apart from making sure you are sufficiently aroused and that your vagina is relaxed, a tip I use sometimes is to relax my jaw upon penetration. This somehow allows me to relax my vagina to accommodate the girth.
As always, lube is your best friend here so make sure you use enough. And remember to slow things down by reverting to foreplay if you feel any discomfort.
Positions that are good for wide girth boys are cowgirl, where you are on top so you can control the penetration, or anything where you are open and relaxed, so missionary is probably my favourite for this.
We know about large and small, what about the average penis size? (Post continues after video)
This is probably the scariest and most tricky penis to work with. Foreplay is a big must, as you will need to be sufficiently aroused so that your vagina lengthens. Whilst the average vagina is only about 7-10 cm long it can expand up to 200% during arousal. So lots of foreplay is very important.
The next hurdle is your cervix. At various times during our cycle our cervix will lower into our vagina meaning that it can get in the way of penetration. I find that lots of clitoral stimulation will cause the cervix to move up and tuck behind your pelvic bones getting it out of the way. So once penetration happens if you feel any discomfort simply change positions or add extra clitoral stimulation to move your cervix up.
A great position for longer penises is missionary with your legs closed. To get into this position simply lay on your back, have him insert you like normal missionary, then clamp your legs together whilst tilting your pelvis up towards him, his legs go on the outside. This position means that his penis will rub against your clitoris as well as penetrating you and he will enjoy the extra sensations from your legs.
Penises of different shapes.
Some penises when erect develop angles. This is nothing to be afraid of, it just means your positions will be a little different. The biggest problem I find when working with angles is sometimes the penis might push on the side of my vagina through to my ovary, which has never been pleasurable. But working with the angle of the penis, if you arrange yourselves so that you are on angles from each other you should both have an enjoyable experience.
The best tip: try to get the penis to angle towards your upper vagina so it stimulates your g-spot or anterior fornix.
Madison Missina is an award-winning pornstar and sex therapist. She the pornstar part of The Prude and The Pornstar podcast, a show that talks sex, relationships and fetishes. You can subscribe to the show in iTunes, via the Mamamia Podcast App (iOS only), or via your podcast app of choice. Or listen to the full episode below: