One of my nearest and dearest friends of close to ten years told me face-to-face that she didn’t want to be my friend anymore. Over the past few months, I noticed she wasn’t responding to my text messages and was acting disinterested when we’d hang out in person, but I had no idea she was planning on ending the friendship.
I asked if she would meet me in person so we could talk about what was going on, and she broke the news that she was “over” being my best friend forever.
“What? Why? How? Huh?” was what I was able to mutter after she broke the news that she wanted to part ways — as if we joined together in friendship matrimony.
As if she was asking for a best friend divorce.
The hardest part of this friendship breakup was that my friend couldn’t give me much of a reason as to why she didn’t want to be gal pals any longer. It wasn’t like we had been fighting or one of us did something that made the other distraught — it was that she didn’t feel like we had anything in common anymore and she lost interest in having me around as a friend.All of her words sounded familiar because they were used in the past by ex-boyfriends who didn’t see a future with me.
I had one guy break up with me because he was moving to another state and didn’t think I was the kind of girl who would do well in a long distance relationship. Another guy I dated broke up with me because he wasn’t excited to see me, or text me, or think about me anymore. Both of those breakups hurt. They left me dragging my feet for weeks, swearing off attempting to ever find love again, and wondering if there was something wrong with me. A couple of weekends spent crying over rom-coms, seeing my therapist, and realising it was less about me and more about them got me back up on my feet and ready to date again.
But after this friendship breakup, I found myself down for months. I felt like I lost a giant part of my life — and in a way I did.
I lost the person I would text or call at any hour of the day to update them on the chaos of life and look forward to hearing about their chaos as well.
I lost the person who could be ready in just 15 minutes to head out as my plus-one on an adventure. I lost the person who knew exactly how to pick me up when I was feeling sad, or when I got laid off from my job, or when another first date felt like it was the last date I ever wanted to go on.