Everyone knows how to masturbate, right? Wrong!
Lots of women know the basics but are too shy to ask friends about specific technique.
We talk about partner sex with our friends but the nitty gritty of solo sex still isn’t something we share.
That’s why I’ve written this blog. Here, you’ll find the four most popular female masturbation techniques in a step-by-step format.
Ideally, you’ll try all of them and be able to orgasm by more than just one method. The more ways you can orgasm, the more orgasms you’ll have.
Using a vibrator or dildo
There are some very good reasons why – nothing is more effective at stimulating the clitoris than vibration (though a soft tongue comes close) and vibrator orgasms take no time or effort.
Having an orgasm with a vibrator is simple: hold it firmly against the genital area and most of us will climax within minutes! For this reason, many sex therapists recommend you don’t use a vibrator to masturbate every single time.
Mamamia Out Loud discusses why Sex and the City is such an enduring success. Post continues below.
For a start, it’s restrictive since you won’t always have it with you. Secondly, it doesn’t teach you any of the sexual skills you can use readily with a partner. At least try to masturbate to orgasm by rubbing or using your fingers (keep reading), even if you use the vibrator most of the time.
Having said that, vibrators are a terrific, quick and convenient way to orgasm if you’re tired or don’t have much time.
Contrary to what the porn industry believes, most women don’t use vibrators inside their vaginas but use them outside to stimulate the clitoris. Even if you’ve got a penis-shaped vibrator, chances are you use the tip rather than insert it.
Position and technique: If you’re using a dildo, you can sit or lie while inserting it or hold it firmly at the base and ‘lower’ yourself on top – the positions are as varied as they are for intercourse. If you don’t have a dildo but would like to insert something, try a not-too-ripe peeled banana; they seem to simulate the hard but soft feeling of a penis and are totally harmless to insert. Since clitoral stimulation is usually necessary to orgasm, you’ll also probably need to use your hands to stimulate the clitoral area directly, using any of the techniques listed above.
Positions and techniques with a vibrator are limited only by your imagination. The standard technique is to press it firmly against the closed labia (lips of the vagina) and hold it there, varying the pressure, until you orgasm. Try it standing up, sitting with legs apart, or lying down. Another technique is to stand with your legs apart, hold the vibrator still in front of your genitals and move backward and forward, grinding against it. Moving it in a circular motion is also popular as well as kneeling on the floor and squatting over it.
Timing: If you’ve only got two minutes to spare, masturbating with a vibrator is the technique for you! Unless they deliberately ‘tease’ themselves and hold off, most women can orgasm with a vibrator within 60 seconds to three minutes. To make it last longer, try setting it on the lowest vibration speed, applying pressure and moving it in a circular motion, lifting it away if you feel yourself too close to climaxing.