Got HECS debt? You’re about to be forced to pay it off much sooner. Like… in four days.

Hello, you! Gather round, because I’ve got some bad news to share.

If you’re like me, you’ve got HECS debt the size of a small car. You went to uni for a few years – perhaps you even hopscotched between degrees for a bit, did a bogan Contiki trip, destroyed your liver beyond repair – and now you’re a big kid with a swanky career and everything.

You knew your earning potential in the first five years out of uni wouldn’t be amazing, but you likely didn’t expect it’d be similar to all the jobs that don’t require a university degree, either. The one, tiny sliver of solace you have found in your measly salary was the knowledge you wouldn’t need to pay back any HECS until you had worked your way up a little bit. You know, until you were earning a slightly cushier salary of $56,000 (you go getter, you).

Well, the Australian Government is laughing in your stupid educated face after securing the support it needed to slash the HECS repayment threshold to $45,000.

Yep, that’s right. If you’re earning $45,000 a year (before tax, of course) you will need to start paying back at least one per cent of your taxable income. Oh! And if the government gets its way, and the bill is passed this week as planned, your repayments will start on Sunday! Yeah! The Sunday that is four days away!

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Oh oh oh, this will reportedly affect hundreds of thousands of Aussies, and most of them will be women!

Hooray!

I cry into my Arts degree at night.

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