By MAMAMIA TEAM
Do you dread leaving the house, in fear that you’ll run into someone you know at a shopping centre/park/beach/restaurant/bus stop/other public place?
Do you generally dislike most people and just want to avoid having to have those awkward five-minute-long “so what are you doing with yourself these days?” conversations?
We have the app for you.
It was invented by fellow people-hater-slash-generally-socially-anxious-person, Scott Garner, and it’s called “Hell is Other People“. According to the website, it’s an “experiment in anti-social media”.
Essentially, it takes everything about social media – being connected to other people, knowing what everyone’s doing at all times – and turns it around so that your chances of running into someone else are minimised.
No more getting stuck talking to some guy whose face you definitely recognise but can’t remember if his name was Tom or Ted and did you maybe have sex or is he just your friend’s cousin or something?
The app works alongside Foursquare, tracking check-ins from the friends you already have on social media networks and calculating routes and locations – referred to as “optimally distanced safe zones” – to avoid them completely:
So really, this is particularly ideal for days that you are experiencing severe outfit-regret and you’d prefer not to see anyone so that they won’t judge your regrettable choice of orange puffer vest. Also ideal if you’ve just suffered a painful break-up and your ex-significant-other tends to frequent the same coffee shops as you.
In all seriousness, though, the app is meant to be somewhat satirical, and also an exploration of the creator’s true experiences with social anxiety. Although we suspect that some people would actually be more than happy to download it and put it into practice.
The only problem is that it’s never truly guaranteed – there’s bound to be someone out there who you’d like to avoid and yet doesn’t bother checking into Foursquare.
And, as time.com points out, if you REALLY want to take part in the anti-social-media network? The best thing would be to “log off altogether”.