Gwyneth Paltrow is both a punchline and an object of fascination.

She lives in a world where people seamlessly consciously uncouple and then pop a jade egg into their vagina to balance their menstrual cycle.

Her life, for most people, seems unattainable and a little bit bizarre. Something to marvel at, but also quietly envy when no one else is looking.

Her advice, on the most part, is the kind of advice you giggle at over a glass of wine with girlfriends, before stumbling home, scoffing down a cheeseburger, and falling asleep – vagina sans steamed.

She lives on a different planet and we kind of like it.

But recently Gwyneth shared a piece of information that could actually be applied to us mere mortals.

Gwyneth Paltrow’s ‘Intimacy coach’ on what we’re doing wrong in bed. Post continues after podcast.

In a profile with The Sunday Times, the GOOP founder shared the secret to her relationship with her new husband, Brad Falchuck.

Gwyneth said the pair didn’t actually live together full time, which created a distance that kept their spark alive.

“Falchuk, 48, spends three nights a week at his own house and four nights at Paltrow’s Los Angeles home, an arrangement approved by her intimacy teacher as a means of keeping the relationship fresh,” the profile read.

“Oh, all my married friends say that the way we live sounds ideal and we shouldn’t change a thing,” Gwyneth said.

The couple, both in their 40s, live in their homes with their respective children from previous marriages and only come together a few nights a week.

The entire blended family never spends a night together under the one roof.

They don’t talk about utility bills, they’re not fighting over who left a wet towel on bathroom floor, no one is yelling at anyone else for not picking up the dog poo. According to Michaela Boehm, Gwyneth’s intimacy coach, this is the secret to their marital bliss.

“When two people first meet, they don’t know each other so there’s a very strong attraction,” she told Claire Murphy, the host of Mamamia’s daily podcast, The Quicky. “Everybody knows that first honeymoon period when you get to know each other and you spend all night up talking and you discover all these similarities and what you have in common. It’s amazing, you talk, and then you have sex, and then you talk again.”

 

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“It’s just really, really exciting and electrifying.”

Boehm explained that when two people get to know each other, they create more commonality and that spark diminishes.

“So the more you actually have in common, the better you get along,” she said. “If people’s likes are very different, it’s not going to work. In divorce court, they call that irreversible differences. So when you choose a mate, you have to choose someone with whom you have a lot in common and that’s what makes for a healthy relationship.

“But sexual interaction – the spark, or the flame, or the polarity – comes from the difference. That’s why it’s called ‘opposites attract’.”

Boehm says having things in common makes for great relationships, but terrible sex.

“The more different opinions and ideas and behaviours people have when it comes to the sexual tension, the more exciting and hot the sex is,” she explained.

“And that is why most people come to a place where they’re not that interested in having hot sex. And that’s not necessarily a problem except when people think it’s a problem.”

The ‘intimacy coach’ says you can put the spark back in your relationship by spending a bit of time apart and putting in a little effort.

“That doesn’t necessarily mean you need to be in different houses,” she said.

“[When you first started dating] you came from separate places and took the time to get together, you took the time to get ready, you dressed really nicely, you went to your date, you had interesting things to say, you weren’t talking about who takes the dog to the vet and who needs to buy milk, or that the gas bill is due. You were talking about interesting things and it created that exciting date feeling.

“If you want to have that excitement in your relationship, you have to recreate that kind of atmosphere.”

So sans two Hollywood mansions, all you really need to do is give each other space – and pick up the wet towels occasionally.