real life

Group Therapy: Help! I've never had an orgasm.





Please help.

My boyfriend is gorgeous. I’m incredibly attracted to him. We have a really active sex life. And I’ve never had an orgasm.

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I feel like maybe I got myself into this mess. I’ve always had trouble getting to the finish line, and when I started dating Sam it was no different. But I really liked him and I didn’t want things to be awkward so I just… faked it. Then he thought I liked what he was doing so I had to fake it again. Then before I knew it, we got a lot more serious and too much time had passed and I just didn’t feel like I could say anything.

Now I’m in a relationship with someone that I love – the person that I suspect I’ll spend the rest of my life with – and every time we have sex I’m left feeling frustrated and unsatisfied.

I want to be able to tell him what I like, I really do. But I honestly have no idea what works for me. I’ve always had trouble being vocal with boyfriends, which means I’ve basically been sexually frustrated since I lost my virginity. I’ve never felt comfortable saying what I want, so I’ve never really figured out what I want.

It’s getting to the point now where I just don’t feel like having sex. What’s the point? Knowing that I’m just going to end up hot and frustrated means I kind of consider sex like work now. And that means I’m often resenting him. It’s not his fault – I know that. But I guess I just always thought it would get better; that when I found the right partner he would know what to do. But now I’ve found the right partner, and I still can’t orgasm. Part of me gets angry with him for that even though it’s not fair.


So what’s wrong with me? Seriously? Is there some kind of medical reason I can’t get there? Are some women just doomed to never have great sex?

I honestly don’t know what to do now. I feel sort of trapped. Not only am I terrified there’s something wrong with me, but I can’t talk to the one person I should be able to turn to for support.

I feel so guilty for lying to him. How do you say to someone “So, Thai for dinner? Oh, and by the way – I’ve faked every orgasm I’ve had since we’ve been together.”

What do I do? Should I tell him? Should I see a doctor? I’m freaking out.

If your partner is having issues lasting longer in bed (premature ejaculation) and you are not being sexually satisfied, speak to your doctor about how to improve control over ejaculation.



A.Menarini Australia Pty Ltd


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Do you face issues in the bedroom that you can’t talk to your partner about?