My boyfriend is gorgeous. I’m incredibly attracted to him. We have a really active sex life. And I’ve never had an orgasm.
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I feel like maybe I got myself into this mess. I’ve always had trouble getting to the finish line, and when I started dating Sam it was no different. But I really liked him and I didn’t want things to be awkward so I just… faked it. Then he thought I liked what he was doing so I had to fake it again. Then before I knew it, we got a lot more serious and too much time had passed and I just didn’t feel like I could say anything.
Now I’m in a relationship with someone that I love – the person that I suspect I’ll spend the rest of my life with – and every time we have sex I’m left feeling frustrated and unsatisfied.
I want to be able to tell him what I like, I really do. But I honestly have no idea what works for me. I’ve always had trouble being vocal with boyfriends, which means I’ve basically been sexually frustrated since I lost my virginity. I’ve never felt comfortable saying what I want, so I’ve never really figured out what I want.
It’s getting to the point now where I just don’t feel like having sex. What’s the point? Knowing that I’m just going to end up hot and frustrated means I kind of consider sex like work now. And that means I’m often resenting him. It’s not his fault – I know that. But I guess I just always thought it would get better; that when I found the right partner he would know what to do. But now I’ve found the right partner, and I still can’t orgasm. Part of me gets angry with him for that even though it’s not fair.
So what’s wrong with me? Seriously? Is there some kind of medical reason I can’t get there? Are some women just doomed to never have great sex?
I honestly don’t know what to do now. I feel sort of trapped. Not only am I terrified there’s something wrong with me, but I can’t talk to the one person I should be able to turn to for support.
I feel so guilty for lying to him. How do you say to someone “So, Thai for dinner? Oh, and by the way – I’ve faked every orgasm I’ve had since we’ve been together.”
What do I do? Should I tell him? Should I see a doctor? I’m freaking out.
A.Menarini Australia Pty Ltd
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Do you face issues in the bedroom that you can’t talk to your partner about?