Considering they named their son Buddy Bear, Jamie and Jools Oliver may want to leave the room for this one.
So apparently the nicknames we’re giving our kids is leading to the downfall of modern parenting. That’s right, we’re setting our ‘parenting dynamic’ up for failure simply by choosing the wrong nicknames for our children.
(I know what you’re thinking, you’re thinking, ‘Oh good because I was so bored with worrying about which school to send my child to and whether or not I should be buying organic food and cooking more meals from scratch and eating more often at the dinner table and not letting the kids watch Team Umizumi during dinner and working out how to explain that “Want Longer Sex?” billboard to my four-year-old. Now, for something completely different I get to worry about whether or not I’ve screwed everything up because of the nickname we gave our child when they were three-days-old. TERRRRRRRRIFIC.’)
I hear you. But it’s one nickname in particular that is the red flag for concern. And it’s a nickname increasingly popular for little boys: Buddy. Know anyone who calls their little boy (or girl) “Buddy”?
Like “sport” or “champ” of an earlier era, “buddy” has quietly evolved over the last 20 years into the go-to nickname for American parents, particularly fathers, looking to chum it up with their sons and daughters. How it got there is hard to say; good luck finding an adult who remembers his dad calling him buddy.
You can read that full story here.
It’s interesting the nickname choices Gen X and Y parents are going for. Little girls are invariably called Princess with some psychologists quick to point out we’re setting the scene for prima donna behaviour and over-indulgence in our girls. While our little boys are called Buddy – with all the ‘you’re my equal’ connotations that brings.
Do you think a nickname like “Buddy” signifies a shift in the type of relationship Gen X and Y parents want with their kids? Are we all trying to be ‘friends’ with our kids instead of parents? What nicknames do you call your kids? And what nicknames did your parents give you?
Top Comments
I do not have children of my own yet but I do care for children in an OSHC service. I use 'buddy' affectionately, if I want to tone down a harsh word or to comfort an upset child. Or if I am not familiar with their name. If I need to command authority, I will use their name and if that doesn't work- their full name. I use 'buddy' for girls but will mix it up with 'sweetie' if they are upset or hurt -which- I would actually hate if it was me. I gotta think of something better.
Hey. I know I'm way late to the party, but I found this in a search.
My mother used to shout at me when I was younger "I am NOT your friend - I am your mother!" And during a friendless childhood often frequented by bullying, it left nasty scar tissue that affects my relationship with her today.
She has had breakdowns and confessed to me sobbing that she wished she never said those words, that nobody should try to dictate their kids around and should respect them and be affectionate. I'm still estranged to her, because her words also reflected her controlling attitude at that time. But 12 years of therapy from emotional abuse later, I'm alright.
I guess each context is different. If you, as a parent, were harsh like she was, that would be the insult-to-injury phrase right there. If you're a fair and friendly parent, the words would exemplify a more benign meaning. But those are the words my mother wished she could take back, (out of all of the insults, and abuse), the most.