'I gave my stepkids' inheritance to a stranger when my husband died.'

It’s no secret that navigating relationships with stepchildren can be both incredibly challenging and rewarding all at the same time. When people enter into a blended family it can bring about lots of feelings for everyone involved.

Tensions can be heightened and relationships can break down.

For one stepmother she made a decision that is now dividing the internet.

She took away her stepchildren’s inheritance.

In an AITA (Am I The Asshole) post on Reddit, a widower opened up about a particularly fraught dynamic she finds herself in with her stepkids. In the post, she explains how she recently lost her husband of 20 years after he passed away from cancer. When they married two decades ago, they both had children from previous relationships but never had any kids together.

Over the years she experienced tense interactions with her stepkids which led to a pretty difficult relationship between them and their father.

“I tried to treat my stepchildren as my own but they never accepted me,” the Redditor wrote. “They were very rude and insulted me whenever they could. Since I did not work they called me a gold digger who married their dad only for his money.”

As a result of their behaviour, their father pulled back and refused to pay for their tertiary education.

“My husband on the other hand hated how they behaved with me,” she wrote. “Their blatant disrespect made him not pay for them to [go to university]. Their mum couldn't pay for it and they had to take loans for it. They didn't even talk to him.”


Watch: Simple Budgeting with a Banana. Post continues after video.

Video via Mamamia.

When her husband fell ill with cancer, their relationship had soured so much that his children didn’t come to visit while he was going through a three-year treatment.

During this time the couple befriended a young mother who provided them with the comfort and support they had wished his children had offered.

“She was a single mum, taking classes at community college at night, working during [the] day and raising her two kids,” the woman wrote on Reddit. 

“She took a liking to us and when she learned my husband was sick, [she] spent whatever time she could visiting him. She has stayed nights at the hospital when I needed a break and basically been the daughter we wished for.”

Once her husband passed away, the widower was tasked with managing his finances.


Did she give any of it to his two adult children? Nope, she gave it to the young mother who had offered support and companionship during her husband’s cancer battle.

“I decided to give it to the girl who helped us both so much,” she wrote. “She tried to refuse but I insisted she take it. She needed it and, in my opinion, deserved it more than the ungrateful children. But his ex-wife and kids are causing havoc over this and really upset with me. They are calling me an asshole for giving away money they deserve.”

In response, plenty of people have jumped into the comments section to offer their opinions on the situation. And look, it’s quite divided.

On one hand, many echoed thoughts like “they don’t deserve the money,” and “If your husband wanted his kids or your kids to have his estate, he would have left it to them.” 

Then others chimed in with, “I think you and your husband didn't do a great job of integrating families and then blamed his kids for not accepting you.”

Since we only know the woman's side of the story, at the end of the day, it was legally her money to manage. But you can see how his children may feel like their noses are a little out of joint.

What do you think about this decision? Let us know in the comments.

Feature Image: Canva.

Is your world thrown into chaos when your kids are sick? We want to hear from you. For your time, you’ll go in the running to win one of four $50 gift vouchers!