"Can you take a day off?"
"Can you just tell them you can’t come in?"
No, I can’t.
These were conversations I used to have with my ex. At the time I was working weekends, and a big part of my training was student coordinating for relationship and intimacy classes. I loved my work and seeing people transform after coming in so hopeless. I was inflow. I was happy.
That changed whenever I came home. I almost felt guilty about how much I enjoyed my work life. It was almost like it was a part of me I tried to keep separate, to protect from him.
Watch: The Mamamia team confess our relationship deal-breakers. Post continues below.
Ultimately, I didn’t believe I could be a fully powerful woman in his presence. Or take up space. Be in my purpose and have a man (him) love and support me unconditionally. I didn’t think both could exist. I also couldn’t see I didn’t have the skills to navigate a demanding job while in a committed relationship.
But, he was my best friend. I had never felt more in love with someone despite all of our struggles. Being together was pure joy.