lifestyle

Sorry guys. But if you send this kind of pic, it's not romantic. It sucks.

dick pics

By LIZZIE LUCAS

When did it become socially acceptable to send people pictures of your genitals without first seeking permission?

Because apparently it’s a thing now.

We’ve been hearing too many stories of women who go on dates with men – or are in relationships with men – only to find themselves victims of the sporadic dick pic.

Take this story for example.

Girl meets boy in bar. (We know you’ve heard this one before but stay with us). She gives him her number. The pair text back and forth a few times – nothing more than light banter and a little flirtation. He asks her if she’s got plans this Friday night. She starts to mentally compose her reply, when she hears her phone go off again. And guess what she receives?

A dick pic.

Welcome to the world of modern dating. Or Generation Dick Pic as we like to call them.

Because apparently everyone’s doing it.

Gone are the days of dinner and a movie or even a stroll along the beach with an ice cream. Now, courting is a little more to the point. And the scary thing is that there’s a whole generation of men who assume the ol’ penis snap is about as romantic as a dozen red roses on Valentine’s Day.

Anthony Weiner
Anthony Weiner
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The subject of dick pics received considerable coverage this year when news broke that New York mayoral candidate Anthony Weiner (yes, irony!) had texted pictures of his penis to as many as 13 different women.

A few months later, Australian MP Peter Dowling reportedly sexted his mistress a picture of his penis in a glass of red wine (perhaps it was thirsty?).

Weiner and Dowling’s antics sent news and opinion websites into overdrive, each trying to figure out why it is that some men think it’s sexy and not at all creepy to send a woman a picture of their junk.

At the time, Jezebel wrote an extensive guide for men to use when faced with conundrum or whether or not to ‘Send a lady a Dick Pic.’ Writer Erin Gloria Ryan suggested a number of scenarios to reference when in doubt.

Here’s a snippit of what she had to say: 

Scenario 1: You’re on OKCupid and you have been exchanging messages with an attractive woman who you strongly believe is interested in seeing your penis. She hasn’t exactly come right out and asked you about your penis, but you’re pretty sure she wants to see it. Like, 60% sure. Also, you’re drunk.

Should you send the lady a dick pic? No.

Scenario 2: You have this hot friend with whom you would not mind having some of that sex. She’s single and earlier in the evening you flirted via text message. She just sent you a winky emoticon, which everyone knows is code for “LET’S DO IT.” I mean, she didn’t expressly ask for a picture of your junk, but she must want it, right?

Should you send the lady a dick pic? No.

Around the same time, GQ also ran a piece called ‘Is it okay for me to send a girl a picture of my penis?’ They concluded that there are dos and don’ts when it comes to sending an explicit text and noted that penises are not boobs and thus “even people who love penises don’t really want to be surprised by one”.

I can’t stress how important it is for you to know that a girl likes you in that way first. We don’t even want a funny email forward from a guy we’re not into. Half of what women who like penis pictures like is the idea that a guy we are turned on by is turned on by us (what is a boner, in the end, but a compliment made out of meat?). We have to like the guy the penis is attached to. A disembodied penis is not sexy. It is a Troma film.

You also shouldn’t just send a penis picture without knowing a girl, period. Because sending a dirty photo is an unspoken pact, like being in a group of promising college-bound teens who accidentally kill a guy with their car. Send pictures of your penis only to women who get this and are sane. This goes doubly if you are someone of any notoriety.

Sound advice.

But even with all the articles that have popped up about dick pics recently, it seems like the message still isn’t getting through. So I’ve decided to simplify the message into four easy-to-understand points.

No need to thank me – I consider it an important public service.

Here are the four top reasons a one should avoid sending a pic of one’s dick.

1. Until a girl pulls down your pants to looks at your penis – or specifically requests a photo of it – you can’t be sure that she wants to look at it.

2. It’s weird/borderline sexual assault. Stop being creepy.

3. Out of context, it’s not that pretty. A hairy ball sack is not really the way to put your best foot forward when trying to impress a girl. French champagne is better. (And no – not with

4. Screenshots aren’t hard to take and Snapchat Leaked is now a thing.

Generation dic pic

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Have you been on the receiving end of one of these pics?

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