By MAMAMIA ROGUE
Seriously. Guys. This isn’t a conversation that should even be necessary:
STOP SEXTING PEOPLE NAKED PHOTOS OF YOURSELVES.
Now, obviously this memo doesn’t apply to all middle-aged men. Only the sleazy members of your crew need to pay attention. For example:
You know the ones. Members of the club otherwise known as “Woopsie! Even though I work in a high profile job and should know better, I accidentally snapped a pic of my penis, applied a moody filter and sent it to a woman who isn’t my wife! My bad, you guys, my bad.”
For those who are blissfully unaware of this news story, on the left we have Australian MP Peter Dowling, who sexted his mistress a picture of his penis in a glass of red wine. Yes. His penis. In a glass of wine.
In his defence, ‘He wanted a red wine…’ Oh,
he it your penis wanted a cold bevvie! Okay then.
Anthony Weiner, a mayoral candidate for New York, also texted his penis to 13 different women, but in his defence, he did it under the name Carlos Danger, so, um… it doesn’t count?
This memo is for those guys.
For all the middle-aged men who wish they were called Carlos Danger.
For all the men who think their penis would enjoy the robust undertones of a vintage red.
Actually, this memo is pretty much just for those two specific men. But it probably wouldn’t hurt if all middle-aged male politicians took notice.
On this thing, called the Internet (you know – that fandangled Gen Y thingy), photos are forever. You can’t shred a wang photo once you press send. And when you do send someone a pic of your penis, the only thing standing between you and shameful career ruin is one cranky woman who accepts a cheque from A Current Affair.
So when you feel the urge to sext a picture of your penis, follow these three simple steps:
2) Use your brain
3) Put your pants back on
Good luck world leaders!
End of memo.
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