This post deals with emotional abuse and might be triggering for some readers.
I am embroiled in the fight of my life, trying to hold onto what I worked hard for over many years. He will not allow me to have anything. He tried to destroy me, isolated me from family and friends and I am in a very bad state. However, I am awakened.
I was married for 23 years when I found out that my partner was a covert narcissist.
It took me so long to trust my “gut instinct” and realise that the charming, cheerful and “helpful” person I was married to was in fact living a double life and covertly emotionally killing me.
Watch: The moment I knew our relationship was over. Post continues below.
I was the beard, the mother to his children (and him) to come home to when he was tired and needed to be looked after.
His extensive work travel gave him the perfect ruse to live a double life. When I found out he was a serial cheater we went to counselling to try to repair our marriage.
What was exposed was the realisation that my husband is a covert narcissistic sex addict whose hobby is to manipulate and exploit women for admiration. I was the codependent enabler.
To “punish” me for the domestic life we had in the suburbs raising two children whilst working full time and coping with sporting engagements and normal life he lived a secret life of grandiosity.
Whilst traveling for “work” he was on porn dating websites, meeting and holidaying with different women over a period of 10 years.
All the while playing a role to the outside world of devoted father and husband to an emotionally deteriorating wife.
I lost myself. If I questioned him and said I felt there was something wrong with our relationship he would twist it to make me believe that I was insecure and jealous.
If I called to find out what time he would be home, he would always abruptly end the call as he had more important people to talk to. My husband made me believe that he had the power, he had the control and he mattered more.