Happiness is the smell of freshly baked bread.
With a whopping slab of salted butter to go with it, spread an inch thick and eaten with gusto.
With seven bakers left, all charged with the task of making the best bread they can, AND gratuitous shots of butter being unwrapped from foil packets, this episode is a veritable feast for the soul: bread, every which way you like it. Thankfully, I’m on a low carb diet. That is, whenever I feel low, I eat carbs. So let’s do this.
Bread looks simple but is exceedingly tricky to bake, and tonight’s episode sorts the wheat from the chaff.
The first thing to note is Ben is now sporting a sort of Tom Hanks Castaway facial hair and I wonder if he is ok. Or if he feels marooned on an island of carbohydrates.
There’s twelve savoury flatbreads on the menu. Which means naan, quesadilla, turkish, and all matter of breads done flat.
Angela, the blue ribbon baker, does some Spicy Potato Pockets, which is just carbs on carbs, so basically she’s gently extending a polite middle finger to anyone on paleo. Not that they’d be watching, they’re all over on the Discovery Channel watching Bear Grylls drink his own wee. Matt Moran LOVES her potato on bread combo and tells Angela he could sit there and eat it for lunch all day.
Nathan also puts potato in his bread, which is compared to an ‘adults chip sandwich’. Except for some reason, Matt Moran HATES it. Seems unfair. But then I realised Nathan missed the essential ingredient; chicken salt. Come on, Nathan. A million fish and chip shops can’t be wrong.
Suzy Sparkle is struggling because she can’t put love hearts or glitter on her flatbread so she goes the next best thing: Chicken Kebab. Now we just need the judges to drink 18 beers before they get to judge her and she will not only win it, but they will smother her in the glitter and love hearts she so desires.