"I'd only been able to orgasm in one position for 12 years. Then I started masturbating during sex.'

It was in the very early hours of New Year’s Day 2020 when we fell into bed together.

A hot, tangled mess of sparkles and seduction. 

We’d met just that evening on a river cruise along the Danube. With dark hair and a brooding grin, he was sexy and suave in the way only European men know how. 

And the moment we locked eyes across the dancefloor, I knew we’d be going home together. 

Watch: How are women having sex? The juiciest results from the Mamamia Sex Survey. Post continues after video.

By the time we rode the lift to his hotel room, we could barely keep our hands off each other. Not even the elevator’s CCTV was enough to deter us. 

As we made our way across the darkened suite, clothes were ripped off and tossed aside without a second thought. 

After lifting my pink sequined dress above my head, he launched for my nipples, sucking them up as we knocked into the couch. Collapsing over the sofa’s arm, I landed on top of him, as our pelvises collided. 

Long, hard and thick, I felt him beneath me, as I began to grind back and forth across his skin. 

With his wet mouth engulfing mine, he pulled me in tighter, grasping my bare bottom with his big hands. 

I needed him immediately. 

Standing up, I took his hand and we covered the last few metres to the bedroom. Crawling onto the bed, I lay on my back, naked and waiting, as he bent over me and began to kiss down my neck. 

Squirming beneath his body, electricity ran through me. 

I purred into his ear, urging him on, before he slowly pushed himself inside. 

At last.

Pleasure rushed in as I grabbed hold of his shoulders and let out a loud moan. Filling me up, he began to work faster, in and out, while my breathing raced.

I squeezed my legs tightly around his waist, dreaming of the moment I could get on top. 

My favorite position.

Suddenly he stopped, pausing to catch his breath, before flipping me onto my stomach. And then reentering me from behind. But this time, something felt a little off. 

A night of drinking and sexual frustration had finally caught up, and I could tell that he was losing it. In an effort to keep the momentum going, I pushed my bum back, thrusting myself to meet him. 

I was so close, just on the periphery, and I desperately needed to ride him. 

But I knew if we shifted, it would be over.

Lying, pinned underneath his body while he continued to softly push himself in, I moved the only other thing I could: My hand.

Sliding my fingers underneath my hips until I found my clitoris, I began to glide them up and down. Rubbing myself harder and harder, I couldn’t believe it was working. 

With him inside me, and me applying all the pressure I could on the outside, I’d never felt more turned on. 

As my assistance increased, my groans grew louder until I unexpectedly reached the peak, spiraling in ecstasy into the pillow in front of my face. I lay there afterwards, panting hard in that post-orgasm glow, utterly spent.  

I’d never done that before in my life. 

For me, masturbation had always been a very solo activity. Something that I did in the privacy of my own bedroom. And a topic that was never discussed with friends or even those I was sleeping with. 

Even though – and I realise it now in retrospect – I need clitoral stimulation to come.

Listen to this episode of Sealed Section all about masturbation. Post continues after podcast.

When I first had sex, I was in love with my then boyfriend, but I just couldn’t get there.

While it felt good, it wasn’t this spectacular, cumulative moment that I’d read about in magazines. There was no climax, no big finale, no earth-shattering scene. Just steady, above average pleasure. 

And then he suggested we do it on his desk chair. 

With a bit of maneuvering of limbs and appendages, we jostled into place and I slid down him like a fireman’s pole, and – bingo. Sitting on top, my clit rubbed perfectly against his pelvis, while I moved up and down, ensuring that I was also being penetrated. Add in the element of being in total control, of both speed and intensity, and boom. 

I came. 

High off the gratification and self-satisfaction, I claimed this as my position, and went on to finish in this way for the next decade. 

Of course, I tried every other way, rearranging myself into a variety of pretzel shaped situations, but to no avail. While it could feel great, I needed to be on top, leaning forward and moving in just the right way that it stimulated my most sensual zone. 

And with my boobs bouncing in front of their faces, while their hands were free to explore my body, it was a win-win in the bedroom.

...Until it became a bit limiting. 

Such as when he was close during doggy. Or about to come in missionary. 

If I couldn’t move us into my position in time, I’d be left without an orgasm while he basked in that post-sex come down. And I am most certainly an equal opportunities woman. 

So when I came that hard in that way for the first time on New Year’s Day, I completely surprised myself, and in effect changed my life. 

Since then, my hand’s been dipping south more often than not.

While the best version is when I’m lying on my tummy – with my body weight adding to the pressure on my clitoris – I’ve also found it especially useful when he’s behind. 

Whether it’s doggy or spooning, up against the shower wall or even reverse cowgirl, having him penetrate me while I touch myself gives me the most intense and complete pleasure I've ever experienced.   

And it’s not just enjoyable, it’s damn empowering. 

Female masturbation is a completely different ball game – all puns intended – and allows me to open up a vulnerability that I haven’t ever felt comfortable sharing before. 

Now not only does it give me the chance to exude the sexual appetite that I’ve always held back, but it shows him what I like and how I want to be touched.

Ultimately, it makes us better lovers. 

So, if you’re feeling like they’re missing a sense of direction, feel free to give them a hand. 

And maybe you can teach them a thing or two.

Feature Image: Getty. 

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