by SUSAN TAYLOR
I recently became a mother for the second time, and can honestly say that welcoming my newest son into the world has been one of the most exciting and joyous moments of my life – as you would imagine. It’s up there with my first son’s birth and marrying my husband.
But as wise glam rockers Poison once warbled, every rose has its thorn… and so it was also the worst time of my entire life.
“How did it all go?” an old girlfriend asked me the day after ‘the event’.
Now, I’m not one to hold back, especially with close friends.
This isn’t Fight Club.
You can bet your sweet derriere that I’m going to talk about childbirth, and not let my newly blissed out mummy hormones get in the way.
“You know in war movies where people get their limbs blown off and stuff, and they lie there asking their comrades to kill them?” I said.
“Ah, yeah,” my yet-to-experience childbirth friend replied anxiously.
“Well, the birth was the closest I’ve ever come to feeling exactly like that.”
Sounds terribly dramatic doesn’t it? Well, it bloody well was! In actual fact, traumatic would be more apt that simply dramatic.
With my first son I was induced and quickly went into labour with the aid of an epidural, but unfortunately he was stuck and I ended up having an emergency caesarean. I was quite disappointed about this, so when round two came knocking I was ready and wanted to give a ‘normal’ birth a red hot go. I was pumped!
It was about an hour after I had my, hmmm, I guess we shall call it an ‘epidural’, that I cursed myself for not having taken the ‘easy’ route with an elective caesar. F
or some godforsaken reason my epidural did not work this time, meaning I paid over a thousand dollars for pain relief that was about the same as a couple of headache tablets. Money aside though, why exactly had I decided to put myself in the firing line of such agony?
My husband and lot of family and friends had all expected me to go under the knife once more. So what exactly had I been trying to prove?
I guess I wanted to experience the ‘real deal’, and having had an epidural once before I knew it would stave off the majority of pain and allow me to joyfully experience the entry of my child into the world without him feeling or hearing his mother in terrifying distress.