'I had my first baby at 14. Here's what I want you to know.'

At 14, *Anna's life wasn’t like other kids' her age. 

The eldest of eight children, her parents had substance abuse issues, and Anna eventually ran away to live with her boyfriend, who she describes as “extremely controlling and emotionally abusive”. 

She wasn’t hanging out with the right crowd and had few people in her life she could truly rely on. 

Anna began a sexual 'relationship' with her boyfriend, which by legal definition was statutory rape. When she discovered she was pregnant, she was already four months along. 

Watch: Battling The Pregnancy Illness Hyperemesis Gravidarum. Article continues after the video.

"It was a massive shock to the system… and I didn’t have much time to decide what to do," Anna says. 

"Being a child who chased the feeling of being loved, as scared as I was, I knew I loved my child and wanted to be a mum."

That didn’t mean the decision was easy. Thoughts of abortion and adoption both crossed her mind. 

"Where are we going to live? Is my boyfriend going to step up? How in the world am I going to do this? 

"But the life growing inside me somehow pushed me on each day and I knew I was meant to have my baby."

Despite their dysfunction, Anna’s parents were a source of support, and did their best to be there for her. 

"But it really was a lonely experience," she says. 

"From social workers who judged me and friends who disregarded me, the only place I felt truly supported at that time was Zoey House Mildura, which was a place for young mums. 

"They helped me with advice, furniture, clothes, social encounters and so much guidance."

Addicted to drugs and heavily involved in crime, her baby’s father wasn’t involved in Anna’s life anymore. 

"My pregnancy felt like it flashed by," says Anna.

"I settled into pregnancy well though, considering my circumstances, and couldn’t wait to welcome my baby girl into the world."

A mother’s instinct.

When she went into labour, Anna called her own mother to support her. After 10 hours, Anna still wasn’t dialating, and was rushed into an emergency caesarean. 

"It was the most traumatic experience of my life," she says. 

"I was worried for my baby’s and my safety. I felt like I couldn’t breathe and I couldn’t tell the difference between pain and pressure. 

"Right as they pulled her out, they put me to sleep as I was having a panic attack, the last thing I remember was that she wasn’t crying."

When Anna woke up, she was completely alone. Not realising her legs were still paralysed, Anna attempted to find her baby, but when she tried to walk, she fell. 

"My mum and others got to see my baby before me. The whole hospital experience was horrible and getting home really was the most amazing feeling."

At home, as a 14-year-old mother, Anna says she was powered by instinct. 

"I had no idea what I was doing, but somehow, knew what I was doing. With a few panic trips to the hospital and a few frantic calls to the midwife, I felt like I had this under control, and I did."

When her daughter was a month old, Anna was approved by the Department of Human Services to live as an independent 15-year-old in her own unit. 

"This was the beginning of everything for us," Anna says. 

"Being a mum so young left me full of anxiety. I constantly worried I wasn’t doing enough or the right thing and was continuously told just that by judgemental strangers. 

"It was a scary time but knowing that my baby was healthy gave me a fire in my belly, I knew I was doing the right thing."

A second pregnancy.

In her early twenties, Anna rekindled her relationship with her daughter’s father, and fell pregnant again. 

"That relationship turned sour quickly and I was left to be a single mum again, but this time with a lot more confidence and a lot more support."

But at 23, with an eight-year-old and a baby on the way, Anna was still struggling. 

That’s when she entered the Supporting Expecting and Parenting Teens (SEPT) program with community organisation, Brave. 

"I became involved with Brave when I was three months pregnant with my second child, through a referral from a support worker," Anna says. 

"Brave is essentially about empowering young parents to recognise and achieve their goals, whether that be independence, study, work, housing etc. 

"They honestly helped me in every aspect through my second pregnancy from mental health support, to housing support, to study support, and parenting support. 

"Without them I am unsure this journey would have been so smooth for me the second time round, if only they had been in operation when I was 14."

Anna is now completing her Certificate III in Community Services, and has a permanent home and car for her children. 

"My life now is everything I once wished it was. I have stability, my children are happy, I have great support and am a confident mother.

"My advice to other young parents is, trust yourself, believe in yourself, you are capable of so much. Reach out for support, because it is available and something that is honestly so valuable."

Feature image: Getty. 

*names have been changed to protect privacy.

If this has raised any issues for you, or if you just feel like you need to speak to someone, please call 1800 RESPECT (1800 737 732) – the national sexual assault, domestic and family violence counselling service.