real life

A husband has made a 'sex spreadsheet' of his wife's 'excuses' for rejecting his advances.

Co-habitation – especially in the form of marriage – is not easy. But it’s made even harder when your significant other possesses absolutely no skills in discretion. Or kindness, or tact, or empathy…

But let’s forget about our list, for a minute, and concentrate on the list of the man we’re talking about. This man, a husband, recorded in an Excel spreadsheet, for approximately six weeks, every time he initiated sex with his wife – and what her response was.

The 26-year-old man collated the data, and finally emailed it to his wife (also 26) as she arrived at the airport to fly to a 10-day business trip. Yes, he waited until she was in transit, so she would read the email on her phone.

To the woman’s credit, when her husband refused to accept her calls to discuss the document, she shared it on Reddit, in a thread called “My husband [M26] sent me [F26] an immature, inflammatory email as I was driving to the airport for a 10-day work trip. Now he has cut contact.”

(Way to man up and handle things like an adult, sir.)

The wife explained they’d been together for five years and married for two, having bought a house five months previously. They’ve been “crazy busy” with renovating and work and…honey, no, you don’t have to explain yourself as to why and when you choose to give sexual consent.

The poor lass added, “I gained some weight in the winter and have been busting my a** at the gym to get rid of it.”

The whole sorry debacle went down four years ago, but was late last year picked up again, and has recently gone viral. Now, let’s get to the part we know you’re here for: the details of the sex spreadsheet.

The original spreadsheet. Source: Imgur

You can see the spreadsheet here. The low down is the dude got sex three times in a month, which, as many married people would agree, is not too bad.

Here are some of the woman's perfectly legitimate reasons for refusing to have sex with a clearly terrible person: watching tv, not in the mood, feeling unwell, exhaustion, being sore from sex the previous day, and because she god damn said NO (we've editorialised that last bit).

You'll note that the husband has been dismissive of many of the wife's reasons, as indicated by his personal commentary such as, next to "I need a shower" -"didn't shower until next morning."

The majority of Redditors sided with the woman, commenting on her husband's tactic.

"There are so many ways this could have been communicated better, but instead he came up with some bizarre hit and run with a spreadsheet method which I'd say is actually going to be really hard to come back to a normal relationship from", one noted.

Another wrote, "Don't you just love it when people call being sick, exhausted or extremely stressed out 'excuses'. How about thinking about someone else's feelings for a change?"

Most agreed that the spreadsheet was clear sign there was trouble in the marriage pre-dating the electronic sex journal.

"What ever is going on has taken more than one month to happen," one Redditor said. "Your husband resents something with a strong, strong feeling. The lack of love making will only be one part of the issue."

A few people empathised with the husband's frustration, but very few supported his handling of the situation.

"He needs to understand that his ways of expressing his frustration are unacceptable, but then you both need to tackle this issue of intimacy together with open minds if you want to move past this," one said.

Or, you know, just leave his sorry ass for someone who appreciates and respects you just a tad more.

If you'd like to hear more from Nama Winston, see her stories here, and subscribe to her weekly Mamamia Parents newsletter here.