Today you probably did something very silly, and went ahead and asked someone how they were going.
It’s the wrong time of year for that nonsense.
They inevitably began yelling, while waving their hands furiously above their head: “BUSY, busy, busy, BuSy, bUsY… BUSYBUSYSYBUSYUSYSBUYS, BUSY I’M SO BUSY DO YOU UNDERSTAND OR NO.”
Holy goodness Ma’am, please. I was simply trying to be polite.
WATCH: A bunch of things that mums just never, ever say at Christmas. Post continues below.
It’s not that I don’t believe people are busy. I have no doubt that “work has just been madness” during the “final stretch” and everyone just needs to “get through this week and things will calm down”.
It’s just that we’ve all been having exactly the same conversations for a month now and it’s time for us to acknowledge it.
Here are the five things you’ve most certainly heard someone say in the last 24 hours.
1. “Just limping to the finish line!”
Why is that once we enter December everyone starts speaking exclusively in sporting analogies?
People started referring to the ‘finish line’ in late November which is – I think we can all agree – far too early.
Offices around the country are filled with people dawdling to the toilet and back, and giving themselves pep talks before they do the most basic of tasks.
Meetings are silent. Lunch breaks are… longer. Alarms are snoozed.
How are we still at work it’s been ending for 19 days now.
2. “Where did the year go!!?!!!?”
Posed as a genuine question, it’s unclear how anyone is expected to answer this frankly ridiculous query.
You see, the nature of time is such that every minute you live is shorter than the next, simply because of its proportion.
Think about it. When you’re five, one year makes up one fifth of your life. That’s such a long time! Christmas is so rare!