'I want to... scream.' We need to talk about the utter mayhem of Term 4.

Listen to this story being read by Laura Jackel, here. 

For parents of school-aged children, there is much to love about Term 4. There are the concerts, the festive assemblies, the discos, the end of term parties and socials. There is also much to loathe: the concerts, the festive assemblies, the discos, the end of term parties and socials. Just joking! Well, maybe only a bit.

In amongst all the fun there are a lot of tired, busy people, crawling to the end of the year while doing normal life things AND trying to muster the energy to do festive things with festive-level enthusiasm.

Watch: The things mum never say at Christmas. Post continues below.

The parents are tired; the teachers are tired, and the kids are over-tired. 

I'm sending my kids to school in the wrong socks and we've given up entirely on keeping track of anything homework related. 

Water bottles are missing or broken and lunchboxes are feral, but I refuse to buy and replace anything this late in the term. Yesterday I realised my son was wearing someone else's hat. In February I would have called the mum's number on the hat's label to apologise and possibly sent flowers. Now I am just pretending it hasn't happened as it's every hat for itself by the time term 4 rolls around.

With the increase in social events alongside a distinct lack of organisation and parental care factor, comes the increase in treats. Who can really maintain the 'chocolate is only for special occasions' line when the kids are literally eating a piece every day for breakfast thanks to their advent calendars?

Rules are only good for terms 1 through to 3.

There is a lot to juggle right now and I am here for the fun, but I also want to rest. Two things can absolutely be true. For example, I love seeing my boys having the best time (especially after missing out on so much thanks to those years of pandemic life we went through). But then I get a third email from the school that day with more consent forms to read through and sign before paying the invoices and I want to scream a little bit.

And I love enjoying all the things. Except I question that as someone who currently feels like a seasonal, personal assistant to my kids - do we have to do all the fun things at once?

Mum of two Ricki* says her household is exhausted.

"Not only am I tired, but the kids have long-term exhaustion and are itching for the summer holidays," Ricki says.

"Term 4 is always when the hats, lunchboxes and library books get lost. It's like they've worked really hard to hold it together all year but lose the plot halfway through the last term. I'm also just ready for a holiday from the mental load!"

Mum of three Nadia* says that being a working parent at this time of year is tough.

"I'm constantly dropping the ball," she says.

"I'm not giving enough to the kids, my husband, and definitely not to myself. There is just not enough time to do it all and I constantly feel like I am on the verge of losing it. Anxiety at work and home is high as I have so much constantly on my mind that I just can't switch off." 

Hard relate.

As I tick off some of the big school events and the end of the school year draws ever closer, I have still not yet worked out how I will make the various assemblies and year 6 'clap outs' (cue my excessive crying) on work days, but I expect it to be a mix of lunch breaks and overtime. 

It's a good job I have those 17 parent WhatsApp groups to help take the load off, right?!

The questions and discussions that once would have taken place at the school gates are now all happening all 24/7 online. I am grateful for these communities of parents – some are very dear friends and some are just great at reminding me to pack the special outfit the night before the disco because I forgot.

I am in three WhatsApp and two Facebook groups that relate to my boys and their school years. The groups are mostly filled with questions about school processes and cute photos from various school events. I check what I can, when I can, and I recognise their place in modern life.

One WhatsApp group I joined a year ago was for my eldest son's high school, where he started school in late January 2023.

While I didn't want to miss out on knowledge sharing and networking, I could see the benefit of him having his own phone, so his peers would be able to contact him direct – and I would no longer have to be his social conduit. I just feel tired at the work of having to be so 'across' everything all the time, and that includes staying up to date on various group chats for myself and my children.

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The next few weeks of term will whizz past in a frenzy of activity and I'll enjoy it while also feeling overwhelmed and utterly knackered. 

Then January will hit and the world will fall momentarily silent as we enjoy this wished-for break and before too long I will be poking my head back into those parenting WhatsApp groups trying to organise New Year drinks.

Because I cannot help but love a good circus.

Laura Jackel is Mamamia's Family Writer. For links to her articles and to see photos of her outfits and kids, follow her on Instagram and TikTok.

Feature Image: Supplied.

*While these women are known to Mamamia, names have been changed for privacy reasons.

This article was originally published in November 2022 and has since been updated. 

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