“I once injured my vagina at Spin class. I don’t know, maybe my seat was too high, but there was bruising and I couldn’t walk properly for days.” – Jo.
The gym is a dangerous place. With all the sweat, bacteria, complicated equipment and intimidatingly buff staff, it’s no wonder we have a few embarrassing workout stories to tell.
In fact, just this week two of my colleagues suffered mortifying fitness injuries while coming out of a downward dog and trying to prove themselves against a younger netball team.
This is Liza (below). She dislocated her shoulder at a yoga class. This is her story.
Liza writes: “After two weeks of hot Yoga classes I decided to try a Yin class. Reinvention, relaxation, etc, etc. So there I was with my knees half up in the air in an odd combination of downward dog and child’s pose. I could feel the stretch – but the instructor suggested that we try and prop our front halves up. So I turned quickly to my left to grab a bolster – and out came my shoulder.
Yes. I dislocated my shoulder in a relaxation class with cushions.
Fast forward two hours and the ambulance arrived. Then I was taken to emergency. Because everyone knows that yoga is an extreme sport. After four hours in the Emergency Department at St Vincent’s Hospital they finally put my shoulder back in. And I'm never doing yoga again.”
Who knew yoga was so dangerous? But if you thought a dislocated shoulder was bad, how about injuring your bum during a netball match? A netball match playing against 13-year-olds? Awkward. Here is Freya's story.
Freya writes: “I was playing netball last Wednesday. We were playing against a 13-year old rep team. Which was great because they were all my height. Not so great: they all had the energy of an Energizer Bunny. But I was killing it – bouncing around like the obvious netball pro I am, chasing after the miniature Liz Ellis'.
The ball went up, the intercept was mine for the taking. I could taste the glory. Then I went down. Shooting pain, from my right buttock all the way down the back of my hamstring.
I couldn't run for the rest of the game. I just hobbled around, clutching my bum – weirding out the kids. At every break I had to do these awkward stretch things that meant I was getting very intimate with the bitumen.
For the rest of the week I was walking weird, everything hurt: sitting down, going to the toilet, climbing stairs. And when anyone said "why are you walking funny?" – oh, I did something to my bum when playing netball against CHILDREN.